


You belong here

by reellins



Category: Walking Dead, Walking Dead (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - No Zombies, Alternate Universe - Teenagers, M/M, Romance
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-05-22
Updated: 2014-09-10
Packaged: 2018-01-26 03:57:42
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 11
Words: 27,091
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1673837
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/reellins/pseuds/reellins
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It was supposed to be an usual boring week at his aunt's, but then Rick had an accident. When he woke up at hospital a boy with mesmerizing gaze was sitting next to his bed.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Unexpected

**Author's Note:**

> I don't even know if anybody's gonna read it, I just felt like writing something, kinda for myself. It's my first fic in my entire life, so I have no idea what I'm doing. Special thanks to [Redneckwoman](http://archiveofourown.org/users/Redneckwoman/pseuds/Redneckwoman) for editing it. ❤

Rick gasped and sat under a big oak tree. Finally he could take a break, it was midday and the Sun was killing him. His curls were all wet and sweat ran down his face. He tried to wipe it, but it only made it worse. Under the tree Rick aunt's dog Ben was running around. Rick just kept staring at the sky. Rick had come there every summer, just like now. He didn't mind visiting his aunt, but on the other hand he couldn't find friends here. He also didn't know what to do, so he kept walking all around estate with Ben every day. The estate was really small and it was bordered with forest. He used to go to the edge and sit there, even for few hours. He had never met someone his age, only small kids or old grandpas. Of course they all were nice and kind to him, but it wasn't the same. He really needed someone to have fun with or just to talk to. He hoped to finally meet someone, but it didn't happen. Sometimes he got angry, because of this, but he knew there wasn’t any point. It wasn’t his fault.

Ben's barking roused him from his thoughts. He started to run towards Rick aunt's house. Rick jumped to his feet and started to run after him. When they ran onto the street Rick held out hands to catch him, but everything started to get dark. He only heard a scream and then nothing, darkness.

It felt like he leaped into an abyss.

* * *

 

Rick inhaled deeply. He could hear only one thing and he wasn't sure what was it. His eyelids were too heavy to open his eyes properly, his left side hurt and he regretted making any moves. He licked his lips to wet them a little, then took a deep breath again. His ribs hurt and it felt like he was losing his mind. But then something hit him, this smell, he knew it very well.

"You smell like cigarettes" he mumbled. But nobody answered. He wasn't even sure if there was someone or where the hell he was. It was hard, but after a while he tried to open his eyes again and it was the first time he was able to do it right. The place was very bright and everything was blurry. He blinked few times and then he saw them. Those blue eyes staring at him. Those eyes were the bluest he’d ever seen. So mesmerizing, focused on every movement Rick made, even the smallest ones, and he couldn't find words to describe how beautiul they were.

 Rick gulped and blinked few more times. He realized that the place he was in, was in fact a hospital. He could feel quite warm wind blowing through the window. For one moment he forgot about everything, but then he met the blue flame gaze again. He saw a boy sitting next to his bed. He had blonde hair, it was quite long, down around his chin. His skin was pale; it contrasted with his pink lips and blue eyes. And the small mole above his lips looked so nice he just wanted to touch it. A few of Rick’s curls fell on his own forehead, but he just kept analyzing the person sitting next to him. He was wearing a black leather vest and a dark T-shirt with Radiohead on it. His beaten combat boots were under tattered, holey jeans. The way he looked just didn't match his gentle face. He was chewing his thumb and his eyes kept wandering around the room like he was trying to say somethig. After a few minutes, it felt like ages for Rick, he said quietly, "So... how are you feeling?" His voice was as mesmerizing as his eyes, for sure Rick didn't expect it. He ran hand through his curls, really slowly and opened his mouth to take next painful breath.

"I’ve had better days and I still don't know why I'm here or what happened or.." Rick paused and looked at the other boy.

"...who am I and what am I doing here, right?" The blonde said like he was ashamed of something and looked down. Rick nodded uncertainly. The boy next to him took a deep breath and put his elbows on knees like he was going to pray. Rick wasn't sure what was going on, but he wanted to listen to his story.

"First of all, I'm Daryl. And because of me you're here. I'm really sorry for what happened, I could’ve killed you, I don't know what I woulda done if that-" Rick shushed him, because he saw panic in Daryl's eyes.

"Hey, take it easy. I'm still alive, see?" Rick smiled and Daryl freezed. His ears turned bright red and he covered his face with hands.  It made Rick laugh, but instead of that, only a pain filled moan left his mouth. He regretted even thinking about laughing at Daryl's reaction, he had to be nervous from what he did, whatever it was. "Daryl, right? Can you just tell me what exactly happened?" he said trying to sit on the bed more comfortable.

"I wanted to have a ride, so I took my motorcycle. I hadn’t even accelerated yet and then your dog came from nowhere a-and..." he paused and breathed out. Now his expression changed, it went to incredibly calm, almost like he was somebody else. He looked Rick straight in the eyes, "And then I saw you."


	2. His addiction has blue eyes and smells like cigarettes and gasoline

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So one chapter wasn't enough, I just felt like writing more. Again, special thanks to [Redneckwoman](http://archiveofourown.org/users/Redneckwoman/pseuds/Redneckwoman) for editing it. ❤

"And then I saw you." Daryl said in an odd way, flat and calm. Rick wasn't sure what he meant by it so he kept staring at Daryl, and nodded slowly as a sign for Daryl to continue.

But Daryl met his gaze and just stared back. When he finally opened mouth to say something somebody opened the door. Daryl froze and Rick turned his head to where the approaching footsteps came from. It was his aunt, Beth. She had long, blonde hair and green eyes, and looked much younger than her age.

 Rick imediately focused on Daryl again as he jumped to his feet. His hands started to shake, but he quickly put them into his pockets and lowered his head. It felt like Daryl was afraid of something. The air in the room got heavy and the atmosphere became uncomfortable. Beth stood next to Rick's bed.

"Get the hell out of here, Dixon. Or maybe you want to hurt him again? I think it’s better if you stayed away." It was the first time Rick had ever heard that tone from his aunt, and he couldn’t believe she could be so rough, so cold. It was rough and firm. Daryl fidgeted but he still didn't say anything.

Rick could hardly bear to watch the other boy be so uncomfortable. "But Beth, it was an accid-" she put a finger on his lips.

"Rick, sweetheart, you know nothing. People like him are why I worry about you every time you go outside. Because of him you're here, don't you understand?" Her voice had gone back to its usual gentle tone. She looked at Daryl, her voice harsh again. "What are you still doing here? Didn't I tell you to leave?" It seemed like Daryl wanted to say something, but then Beth shouted "Get out!" He nodded once and headed for the exit.

"Daryl!" Rick called him and tried to get up, but he regretted that almost immediately. Beth shushed him and ran a hand through his dark curls.

"Sweetheart, just leave him." She kissed his forehead "You have to rest, the doctor said you can't make any sudden movements." Rick turned his head in the direction Daryl had left in, but he was already gone.

Beth kept talking like nothing happened. "You're lucky your ribs aren't broken..." Rick tuned her out, he was just too mad. This could be the best chance he had to meet somebody and make a friend, even in such a complicated situation. He really wanted to see Daryl again, but that could be hard with his aunt acting the way she was. Rick couldn’t understand what her problem was, had Daryl done something to her in the past? He’d never heard her mention Daryl before, and Rick hadn’t seen him in the estate on his last summer visit so maybe he’d only recently moved there.

Rick was exhausted, so he closed his eyes. He started to miss the nothingness that had surrounded him earlier. And he missed those blue eyes that had been focused only on him. He squeezed his pillow and sniffed quietly, slowly falling back to sleep.

* * *

 

 

When Daryl got out of the hospital he was confused. He knew about his family's reputation, and half the time it made him hate his father and brother. But they were family, and they were all he had so he didn’t stay mad for long. He just wished he didn’t get treated badly because of how they behaved.

He looked around, not knowing exactly what he was supposed to do now. It was impossible to go back to Rick when Beth was with him. Hell, he wasn’t even sure what to say to the guy. Maybe apologize again? Maybe it would be better if he just left and didn’t come back, stayed out of Rick’s way. He shook his head. The sun was still shining and it felt like he was being cooked. Daryl went to use his bandanna to wipe the sweat dripping from his face, but it wasn't in his pocket where he’d left it. He tried to think about places where he could have lost it, he couldn’t afford to lose that bandanna. It was the only thing his mother gave him before he left, and it always made him feel better to have it on him. It kind of made him feel  _safe_ _._

He went back over every move he’d made since he used it that morning. Shit, it had to in the hospital. "Dammit, I fucked up. Again." Daryl lit a cigarette and headed towards the estate. He was angry at himself, his hand was still shaking a little and making it hard to keep the smoke between his fingers.

"Hey, Darlina, what happened to your motorcycle? And jeans?" Daryl gulped. Not him, not now.

* * *

 

 

When Rick woke up he was alone in the room, the walls seeming even brighter than before. He rubbed his eyes and looked down on the floor. There was something on it next to chair where Daryl had sat yesterday. At first he had no idea what could it be. He slowly moved to perch on the edge of his bed. His every muscle was screaming, but he was too curious to stop now. He leant down to grab it, turned out it was a piece of cloth. It took Rick a minute to realize it was a bandanna, and it smelt like cigarettes and gasoline. It smelled like his visitor. Now he was sure, it belonged to Daryl. He’d probably lost when he flew out of the room after Beth had forced him out.

Rick heard footsteps coming closer and closer, so he hide the bandanna under his pillow. He didn't want anyone to find it and take it away from him.

Especially Beth.

She went inside and smiled gently. "Sweetheart, how are you feeling? Do you need anything?" He was still mad as hell at her, but he tried to control it and instead licked his lips and nodded.

"I'm really thirsty, would you bring me a glass of water?" When she was gone he started to sob quietly. He was sick of being lonely.

* * *

 

 

 

Rick couldn't sleep, but the curtains were open, so at least he could stare at the starry sky. His hands were playing with Daryl's bandana, it was dark and soft. Then he heard footsteps and a grumbling sound, and quickly hide the cloth under his blanket. Rick cleared his throat and asked hesitantly.

"Anybody there?" No answer, but there was another grumble and a dark shadow came over the window, and a gentle thump as something hit the floor of Rick’s room.

Rick froze, even holding his breath. Somebody was standing right in front of him, but he couldn't see any features. He was scared, he closed his eyes and waited for the worst, not knowing what to expect. The person came closer and closer to Rick's bed, but he was walking really quietly; Rick could barely hear his steps. The person was standing right above him now.

"Are you sleepin’?" A warm and calm voice asked quietly.

Rick opened his eyes, it was Daryl staring at him just like before.

Rick drew in a deep breath of relief – and frustration. "Do you really want to kill me or what?" he hit Daryl with his pillow. "You idiot."

Daryl smiled and sat on the edge of the bed hugging Rick’s unused pillow. "I wasn’t sure how else to see you. Couldn’t come back in the normal way ‘cause your aunt’s friend works here and I figured she’d let her know if she saw me around again. So... I had to improvise."

And that was when it hit Rick, his addiction had blue eyes and smelled like cigarettes and gasoline.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've already written next chapter, it just has to be checked. I'm gonna update it soon!


	3. I forgot where we were

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Special thanks to [Redneckwoman](http://archiveofourown.org/users/Redneckwoman/pseuds/Redneckwoman) for editing it. ❤

Rick blushed, but he hoped Daryl couldn't see it through the darkness. He shifted to find a more comfortable position, every movement slow and aching with the painkillers only taking the edge off.

He could barely see Daryl's eyes through his soft, blonde hair. They sat in silence for a few minutes, Daryl with his head lowered like he wanted to hide in the pillow.

 

"I-" He started quietly. "Rick, I just, I'm so sorry for what happened." He squeezed the pillow harder. "I don't even know if ya want me to be he-" But Rick didn't allow him to finish.

 

"Of course I do!" He realized how desperate his voice sounded, and cleared his throat so he could start again. "I mean, it was an accident, things like that happen." He smiled gently, reassuringly at the boy. "I should be the one to apologize, not you."

"What" Daryl gave him a very confused look, "What for?" He repeated quietly.

 

Rick's fingers were playing with the green hospital blanket. "My aunt, Beth, she was so rough, I don't know what happened between you two, but she had no right to yell at you." His fists clenched in anger for the other boy, Beth didn't need to treat him like that. He'd only come to say sorry.

 

 Daryl noticed how Rick's body tensed when he spoke of his aunt's actions, and he wanted to lean over and hug Rick, bring back the little smile he'd seen earlier, but he was too shy to go through with it. Besides, what would Rick think? Probably didn't want somebody like Daryl hugging him anyway. He shook his head sadly. "It's okay, stop thinkin' about it. 'M used to it."

 

This time Rick was the confused one.

Daryl sighed resignedly. "It's 'cause of my family, Rick. People don't care how I act, I'm a Dixon so I'm gonna get treated like shit." He drew in a deep breath when he realized what he'd said. "Sorry, I didn't want ya to hear it. Shit happens, it don't matter."

 

Rick nodded, but he still couldn't understand why his aunt yelled at Daryl. She was always so kind to everyone and she'd never believed in the neighbourhood gossip. So what the hell happened? She'd never acted like that, even after his uncle had died. He opened his mouth to say something, but at the same moment he heard the door creak. Rick and Daryl threw each other a look of pure panic. Nothing good could come from Daryl being found in here after hours, after he'd broke in through the window.

"Under my bed!" Rick whispered, quickly taking his pillow from Daryl. The other boy nodded, jumped on the floor and then slid under the bed. He hadn't had to do that since he was a child and it didn't bring back good memories. He closed his eyes and took shallow breaths, hoping whoever it was wouldn't find him.

 

It turned out it was just a nurse, so Rick pretended that he'd only just woke up. "Is something wrong?" He wiped his face, rubbing at his eyes. The tiny little nurse smiled calmy down at him. "I thought I heard something, is everything okay?"

Rick was good at acting, so he just gave her what he hoped was a believable puzzled look. "I was sleepin' didn't hear anything."

 

She nodded and looked at her watch. "Sorry for waking you up, go back to sleep, sweetie." Before she exited the room she looked once more at Rick, "Ah, one more thing, tomorrow you can go home." Then she turned around and she was gone.

 

Rick sighed with relief. He waved his hand toward Daryl, beckoning him to come out from his hiding spot. He clambered out and took up his previous position on the bed. His hands were shaking again, but when Rick looked over at him and smiled, Daryl gave a tiny smile in return and held his hands out.

 

At first Rick didn't know what Daryl meant by it, but then it hit him. The pillow. What was Rick even thinking, of course Daryl didn't want anything else. It wasn't a fucking romance novel where everything happened so fast. He passed the pillow over to Daryl, watching as he hugged it to himself tightly, almost hiding himself behind it.

 

"So..." Daryl started hesitantly. "When'd you move to the estate? Never seen ya there before."

 

"Nah, I don't live here. I only visit my aunt every summer. And you? Honestly I wanted to ask you about it before the nurse came in." Rick wanted to know as much as he could about the blonde boy.

 

"So you're gonna leave soon?" Daryl acted like he didn't hear his question.

"I-" Rick looked Daryl right in the eye, he usually was happy when he could go back home. This time it was different, he felt miserable at the thought of leaving. " Yeah..." Daryl just sniffed in response.

 

Rick really didn't want to leave, hell, he couldn't explain it, but he hadn't been so happy for as long as he could remember. It didn't matter that he was at hospital and his ribs were aching. He finally could talk to someone, and now, he was gonna lose it already.

"But ya'll come back, won't ya?" Rick smiled at these words.

"Course I will."

* * *

 

They talked for next 2 hours, they had to be quiet so that the nurse didn't come back. But even though they were only whispering, Rick loved every moment. So did Daryl.

 

Daryl's eyelids became heavy and he fell asleep next to Rick's legs when they had a little pause in their conversation. Rick was sleepy too and at first he didn't even realize Daryl was already sleeping.

He looked so calm and his eyes were covered under his hair, Rick didn't want to wake him up. He felt an urge to run his fingers through Daryl's hair, or to touch his pale face with those dark circles ringing his eyes.

Rick was about to do it too, but he hesitated and bit his lip. What would he do if Daryl woke up? He'd probably be disgusted with Rick and never speak to him again.

Rick sighed, wishing there was some way he could do it and not lose Daryl. And he wished he could stop the crazy feelings running through him so soon after meeting the guy. 

_This is madness._

That was the last thought he had before he fell asleep.

 

* * *

 

 

Rick almost panicked when he woke to feel a weight on the foot of his bed. He settled when he looked down and realised it was Daryl, curled up on top of Rick's legs. He wasn't heavy, hell, it felt like he was a feather.

 

Rick gulped and then blue eyes met his gaze. Daryl blinked few times and his expression changed. He quickly moved himself to sit on the edge of the bed again, face flushed in embarrassment. "M so sorry, I didn't mean ta... Are yer legs ok?"

 

 "That's fine, didn't even feel you." Rick smiled, curls falling across his forehead as he looked over to the sun starting to come through the window. Daryl's eyes followed his, jumping a little when he saw the brightness where before the room had been dark.

"What's the time?" He asked in a hurry. Rick looked down at the watch. "It's quarter past seven." Daryl jumped to his feet. "I've gotta go" He ran towards the window and jumped through it.

 

"Wait, Daryl!"

 

He was already gone.

Rick was all alone.  _Again._ He wanted to scream, but instead just fell helplessly onto the pillow Daryl had vacated and hugged it tightly.

 

_He could smell it again - cigarettes and gasoline._

* * *

 

Daryl ran into his house, worn out and stressed. He gasped in surprise - Merle was waiting for him.

 

"Where have ya been, Darlina? I was worrin' about ya" He picked up his beer from the table.

"Yeah, sure ya were." He tried to grin at his brother, giving him a small wave. "Was with my friend."

 

Merle burst out laughing, nearly choking on his beer. "Oh c'mon baby brother. Ya don't have friends."

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've already written next one, but I have to write it in English and then it has to be checked.  
> Anyway, thanks for reading!


	4. Pass me back to my mind

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Special thanks to [Redneckwoman](http://archiveofourown.org/users/Redneckwoman/pseuds/Redneckwoman) for editing it, she saves this fic from being ultra bad. ❤

Beth came to pick up Rick from the hospital, fortunately it wasn't so far away from her house. When they were going to leave he quickly put Daryl's bandanna into his pocket, he just didn't want Beth to see it. 

 

It was odd feeling to walk again, he'd spent 3 days in the hospital and all he could do was lying in bed. His ribs were still aching a bit, so he got a little bag full of painkillers from one of the nurses. She giggled and blushed when he thanked her. She was really young and beautiful, but it wasn't like he was attracted to her. He smiled back and left, he couldn't wait to get out of the place.

 

The Sun was shining like when he'd had the accident, and Rick heard familiar barking. 

"Ben!" he squatted and hugged the big St. Bernard, he was so thankful the dog hadn't been hurt. Ben slobbered all over Rick's face, making him chuckle until Beth called both of them over to her car so they could go home.

 

* * *

 

When they arrived Rick went to the kitchen, took a can of Coke from the fridge and put it next to his neck, letting it relax his aching muscles.

 

"Honey, what would you like to eat for dinner?" Rick sat on a cabinet next to the stove, looking over at Beth as she looked through the fridge.

 

"I'm not hungry."

 

 She gave him a worried look and put her hand on his forehead. "Is everything okay? How are you feeling?"

 

 Rick nodded, trying to reassure his aunt. "I'm fine, don't worry." He wanted to ask Beth about Daryl, about what he'd done to make her hate him so much. On the other hand, he was a bit worried. What if the other boy had done something terrible? Could the calm boy who sneaked into his room via the window, just to see him, have really done something awful? And what about Daryl's comments about his family, about how they had a bad reputation? Rick shook his head, it was all so complicated he was starting to get a headache.

 

"Beth..." His lips trembled at thought of asking her about it and how she would react.

 

"Yes, sweetie?" She met his hollow gaze, "Are you sure you're ok?"

 

Rick took a deep breath, he couldn't think of the right thing to say to her, how to explain his thoughts properly. Beth searched his face and her brows furrowed.

 

"Is that all... about this Dixon boy?"  

 

Rick froze, his heart beating faster when Beth mentioned Daryl. This was his chance to ask her, to know the truth, but he was too scared. Maybe he should ask Daryl, see if he knew.  

"Nah, I'm just exhausted, I'm gonna go to bed." He jumped to the floor and picked up his bag, heading for his room. Beth gave him a tiny smile.

"Well tomorrow is your big day! Good idea to get some rest."

 

Rick honestly had no idea what she was talking about. At the look on Rick's face, Beth giggled and put her hands on her hips. "What, don't tell me you forgot about your seventeenth birthday?"

 

Rick blinked a few times. He really had.

 

* * *

 

 

Beth lived in a small house, but it was really cozy. Green walls were covered with photos of family, but mostly with her photos of flowers and landscapes. Looking at them always calmed Rick, but not this time.

 

He walked into his room and quietly closed the door. He climbed onto his bed and curled up after taking two painkillers. He felt so weak, and everything hurt.  It was getting dark outside and he was falling asleep when he heard knocking. He drug himself up awkwardly and when he looked to the direction of the noise his heart began to beat fast.

 

 Daryl.

 

Rick opened the window with shaking hands. "Ya really like using windows don't ya?" He tried to make his voice as low as possible, not wanting to disturb Beth.

 

"Just wanted ta tell ya I'm sorry 'bout this mornin'...And for wakin' ya now." Daryl looked over Rick and smiled. He was wearing a too big t-shirt and shorts, his hair a mess and eyes sleepy. And damn, he looked so fucking adorable that Daryl could hardly take it.

Rick smiled back. "Ya apologize way too often don't ya?" He leaned on the windowsill next to Daryl, laughing quietly when Daryl started to speak. "M sor-"

 

"So what's going on? Is there any reason why ya came, Romeo?"

 

Daryl blushed and so did Rick when he realized that his comment made him Juliet. He hid his hands in his face in embarrassment.

 

"Sorry, sorry, that's not what I meant."

 

Daryl cleared his throat, "Are ya free tomorrow? Could meet ya at two o'clock." Rick opened his mouth to answer, but Daryl added in panic. "Only if ya want to, I understand if ya don't. I'll just-"

 

Rick shushed him, because he was starting to look a little bit like a scared animal. "Of course I want to." Rick watched the tantalizing movement of Daryl's throat as he gulped.

 

"Really?"

 

"Yeah, better go before I change my mind." The almost harshness of Rick's words was softened by the massive smile on his face. He really wanted Daryl to stay, but he also knew Beth would come in if she heard any noises.

 

"Kay, tomorrow two p.m at the oak tree, and if ya ain't there I'll kick yer ass." Daryl was chuckling as he climbed back out the window, looking back to Rick once more before he disappeared.

 

Rick fell back onto his bed in shock. What the hell just happened?

* * *

 

 

Daryl lit up a cigarette as he walked, the air was warm and the sky starry. There was far worse nights to be walking around. When he was younger he'd always gone for walks with his mother so they could stare at the sky together. But now he was alone, and he'd lost the only thing that reminded him of her - the bandanna. He sighed and ran his fingers through his hair, scowling when he realized how long it was. He definitely needed a haircut, he could hardly see through it now.

 

He'd only gone a small way when he heard barking. He tossed his cigarette away and snuck behind a tree, his eye catching two shadows hitting something. There was a loud whine, and Daryl recognized the dog lying on the grass.

 

He clenched his fists in anger, how could somebody do that to the dog Rick cared about? He ran towards the shadows, hitting one of them in the jaw and managed to get a good kick into the other's stomach before he was knocked to his knees gasping for breath.

His knee ached fiercely from crashing the bike, and he questioned the stupidity of attacking the two men. Daryl tried to get up again until something hit his head, and everything began to spin when he struggled to his knees. He gave up, curling into a ball to cover his head, feeling the blood in his mouth already.

 

"Are ya stupid, ya lil piece of shit!" Someone snarled right into his ear.

 

"Let's just leave him here." Daryl heard another voice, somebody hissing quietly.

 

 "Fine! Fuckin' kid! It's all yer fault, ya should've told me they had a fuckin' dog? We were s'posed ta steal a few things and now we're fucked!"

 

Daryl's ears were ringing too loud for him to make out the rest of the argument as he lay in the dirt, trying to catch his breath. When they'd left, Daryl fell onto his back, legs askew and arms outspread.  He mentally catalogued his injuries.

When he licked his lower lip he could tell it had been split, the metallic taste filling mouth as he coughed. His cheek hurt like hell, and he could already feel the bruise coming out, but there was nothing else wrong.

 

What a stupid thing to do, when did he suddenly become so heroic? Daryl smirked at the thought, he hadn't done something to defend another in a long time, and it felt damn good. The big slobbery dog licked his face, tail wagging. At least Ben was alright, he couldn't have looked Rick in the eye again if something had happened to the kind natured dog.

 

"Oh, so ya like me now, huh?" He stroked the shaggy head, scruffing the dog's ears. "Go home or Rick'll worry 'bout ya." Ben barked, body wiggling with joy.

 

Daryl sat there for next hour or so in the cool grass staring at the sky. He didn't feel like going home after that. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Like always next chapter is already written, I just have to rewrite it into English.  
> Thanks for reading, I just hope you enjoy it!


	5. I'll make your bones shake

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Special thanks to [Redneckwoman](http://archiveofourown.org/users/Redneckwoman/pseuds/Redneckwoman) for editing it. ❤

Rick woke up to a smooth kiss on his cheek. "Happy birthday sweetie." Beth smiled and handed him a little gift-wrapped box. Rick rubbed his eyes and then hugged her tightly, "Thank you, Beth!"

He sat up on the edge on his bed. His T-shirt was so big it fell from one of his shoulders. Beth ran a hand through his curls, her hand was so warm he leant closer into it.

"So what's for breakfast?" He asked with curiosity in his voice, "Anything you want! Any ideas?" She clapped her hands "What about bacon and eggs?" Rick nodded and gave her wide smile.

"Okay, get ready and then come to the kitchen" she turned on her heel and exited Rick's room. 

He immediately went to the bathroom and took a quick shower. When he finished he wiped the steamed over mirror and looked at himself. He still had bruises around his ribs, but they were starting to fade even though they still hurt like hell. On the plus side, his eyes didn't look so tired now that the dark circles under them had faded.

 

His curls were still wet when he came into the kitchen. He could smell something delicious as Beth waved to him to sit down in front of his already loaded plate.

 

"Do you have any plans for today, sweetie?" Rick choked on his tea and Beth gave him questioning look, "I was thinking about going with Ben somewhere, just like always. Lately I was curious about one place I've never been before."

 

"You sure you're strong enough?"  She sat in front of him, "Of course, I'm not dying. I'm fine. I don't think I could manage another day in bed." Beth smiled gently and stroked his shoulder. 

 

"Fine, but be careful, I don't want you to get hurt again." He nodded and ate his breakfast, then helped her with washing the dishes. 

 

"Honey..." Beth started hesitantly "Did you talk to someone last night?"

Rick gulped. Shit, she knew... "I had a stupid dream, so maybe I was talking in my sleep?" He shrugged his shoulders as innocently as he could manage. 

 

"Are you sure? Because it sounded like two another voi-" Ben started barking, so Beth wasn't able to finish her sentence. It was like a gift from heavens. "I'm going out! Bye!" He ran after Ben. Beth sighed, "Be careful!"  

 

* * *

 

It was still early, but Rick had gotten used to walking with Ben alone all day. There was still three hours left until he was supposed to meet with Daryl, but he sat under the big oak tree anyway. He started to play distractedly with some flowers growing next to him. He especially liked a blue one, because it reminded him of Daryl's blue eyes. He sighed at the thought about the blonde. 

 

He realized he had no idea why Daryl wanted to meet with him, what were his motives? He was a little nervous, but at the same time more than a bit excited. He enjoyed their conversation at the hospital, so why this time would be different? 

 

Ben slumped over Rick's knees as Rick stroked his head, rubbing his ears and making the dog groan happily. It wasn't as hot as it had been the last few days, with a pleasant breeze blowing over the happy pair. Rick smiled and closed his eyes, dozing in the nice weather.

 

* * *

 

 

Daryl woke up lying on the couch in the living room. He looked at his t-shirt, it was tattered. "Oh fuck, it was my favourite." Merle came from behind and tapped his shoulder and Daryl jumped under his touch. 

 

"Where have ya been again, Darlina?" The boy sniffed and then Merle saw his battered face. "Ya have really nice friends, who did it ta ya?" 

 

"It's not like that, Merle. I just..." What, he wasn't going to tell him that somebody kicked the shit out of him just because he wanted to save a dog, what if Merle wanted to know who the owner was? Of course Daryl would pretend he didn't know him, but it'd sound even more trivial. He's a Dixon and Dixons don't do shit like saving a random person's dog. "Tripped over in the woods." He said in a rush, but then he realized how stupid it sounded and he thought of a million other things that would have made better excuses. 

 

Merle burst out laughing "Ya tripped over? Poor baby brother. I thought yer new girlfriend kicked yer ass."

 

 Daryl squinted his eyes."What are ya talkin' bout?" 

 

"Huh, don't cheat me, yer brother ain't stupid. I saw yer happy puppy eyes, for sure somebody turned yer head, Darlina." Merle smirked. Daryl blushed and lowered his head.

"Yeah, ya are stupid, 'cause I don't have a fuckin' girlfriend!"

 

"Oh, then boyfriend?" Daryl hissed, "Fuck off Merle, I already told ya I tripped over in the fuckin' woods!" 

 

"Sure thing, baby brother, ya clumsy shit." Daryl growled, "Better tell me what's the time, I can't see the damn clock with yer fat ass in the way."

 

Merle turned back and looked at the beat up clock on the wall.  "It's twenty to two." Daryl jumped to his feet.

He'd overslept.

 Fuck. Fuck.  _Fuck_. He repeated in his mind. 

 

Merle laughed "Something happened? Are ya late for yer date? Yesterday ya fell on the couch like ya was dead. I'm not suprised ya slept for so long."

 

Daryl ignored him and jumped over the couch and ran into the bathroom. He took a cold shower and nearly slipped over on wet floor.

 

Today just wasn't his day.

 

* * *

 

 

When Daryl finally got to the oak tree, his hair was still nearly dripping wet. Rick was sitting under the oak tree, Daryl wanted to call him, but then he realized the boy was sleeping. Ben wagged his tail when he saw Daryl. He smiled and came a little closer and sat in front of them. The grass was really tall and flowers were swaying on the wind. Daryl leaned on his knees and started to stare at Rick, something he thought he'd be happy doing for the rest of his life.

 

He looked so calm, cheeks slightly flushed. He was quietly breathing through his mouth. Daryl focused on his pink lips and smiled, thinking just how much he'd love to kiss them. 

 

Wait... What did he just think about? Kiss? What the fuck? Where'd that come from?

 

He shook his head and blushed a little. It was sick, they were both guys. Besides, Rick barely knew him, he'd never let Daryl kiss him.

 

Ben got up and came closer to him, he wanted Daryl to pay attention to him. He smiled and started petting his belly, but he kept looking at Rick. 

It took him a few minutes, but Rick slowly opened his eyes and met Daryl's gaze. He jumped and his ears turned bright red. 

 

"Hey, I didn't want ta wake ya." Daryl said quietly like he was afraid of something. 

 

"When did ya get here?" Rick cleared his throat and looked at his watch. His eyes widened, it was three o'clock. "Sorry, got here a bit early and must've fallen asleep."

 

"That's fine" Daryl smiled, "Honestly I was a lil late" The wind blew the hair from Daryl's face and when Rick saw his injuries, he froze."What happened?"

 

 "It's nothing, I tripped over... and then fell on a shelf." Daryl smiled sheepishly and lowered his head in embarrassment. 

 

Rick smiled gently with understanding in his eyes, "Ya should be more careful." Daryl nodded, a little bit lost in Rick's soothing voice.. He didn't want to lie to Rick, but he also didn't want him to know what happened. How someone treated his beloved dog. It'd be way worse.

 

He got up and held up a hand towards Rick to help him, "Let's go for a walk."  

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've already written next 3 chapters, but I still have to check them and maybe change something. I'm so sorry, you have to stay patient, also thanks for reading! <3


	6. Sooth my soul

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always my lovely beta [Redneckwoman](http://archiveofourown.org/users/Redneckwoman/pseuds/Redneckwoman) helped me with this chapter. Enjoy!

Rick without thinking caught Daryl’s hand. He could feel a few little scars, but he didn't really care. Daryl's grip was strong, but also really gentle, like he wouldn't hurt Rick. The warm hand holding his grabbed all of Rick’s attention for a few minutes, until he realised what he was doing and let go, face flushed. "Sorry." Rick smiled hesitantly.

  
 Daryl put his hands into pockets, fists clenched. He looked utterly miserable, leaving Rick wondering if he’d done something to upset the other boy. Was he disgusted because Rick had held his hand, or was he upset because Rick had let go? That thought lifted Rick’s heart, then dropped it again. There was no way Daryl would ever think of Rick like that.

 

* * *

 

They’d been walking for over ten minutes, but neither of them had said anything, just enjoying the comfortable silence together as they headed deeper into the woods. Rick was only following Daryl, he had no idea where they were going and if the two got separated, he probably wouldn’t be able to find his way out again either.

 

Rick’d never been in this part of the woods before, Beth always warned him not to, but he couldn’t figure out why. The place was beautiful. The sun shone through the trees, and the ground was covered in tiny yellow flowers where there weren’t broken branches. When they came to a fallen tree over a deep ditch, Rick inwardly groaned as Daryl just jumped straight over, narrowly missing a mossy section. Rick barely missed it himself when he turned back to watch Ben slide under the tree, crossing through the ditch to the other side.

 

Rick was almost starting to get worried as they just kept on walking, himself and Daryl in step with each other and Ben gambolling behind, stopping to sniff every tree he saw. He liked adventures, but he was starting to be concerned as to why Beth had always told him never to head so far into the woods. “Where are we goin’?”

 

There was only silence, and Daryl didn’t even stop walking, leaving Rick even more worried. “Hey, Daryl?”

 

Still nothing. Rick moved to stand in front of Daryl, waving his hands quietly in front of the other’s face. “Daryl, I’m talkin’ to ya. What’s goin’ on?” This wasn’t like Daryl, he looked like he’d completely zoned out. He jumped backwards when he finally noticed Rick, tripping over a branch to land on his ass. “What?”

 

The puzzled expression on his face was almost cute if it didn’t worry Rick so damn much. He squatted in front of the fallen boy, giving him what he hoped was a reassuring smile. “Everythin’ okay?”

 

Daryl’s brow furrowed. “Yeah, why wouldn’t it be?”

Rick cocked his head and raised an eyebrow at Daryl. “Well, I said somethin’ to ya three times.”

 

Daryl chewed at this thumbnail, staring at the branch he’d tripped on. Fucking thing. He really hadn’t heard Rick, completely lost in his own world. He couldn’t get his mind off his father, being out here always did that to him. It pissed him off no end that his father’s memories ruined the one place Daryl felt at home.

 

Once, when they’d gone hunting Daryl had scared away a deer and sent his father into such a rage that he’d beat the living daylights out of Daryl until he’d passed out. Then he’d just left Daryl there and gone home, leaving Daryl to put himself back together and figure out which way ‘home’ happened to be.

 

Another time, his dad was rotten drunk, reeking of whiskey while he dragged Daryl by the scruff of his time-worn pyjama top into the cold night, leaving him at the edge of the woods. He dropped a knife into Daryl’s hand and told him that he could stay out there until he’d brought back at least twenty squirrels. He’d nearly fucking died that time, freezing and catching a cold that left him in bed for two weeks after he got  home. Nobody had bothered checking on him, Merle was high as a kite and his dad just couldn’t give a shit.

 

Rick’s hand slid past Daryl’s eyes again, concerned when he saw the far away look in those transparent blue orbs. “Hey, Daryl.” He kept his voice as soft as he could, he didn’t want to startle Daryl. The blonde shook his head, eyes narrowed. “Yeah?”

 

Rick smiled gently, hand resting against Daryl’s shoulder until he flinched away. Rick sighed in frustration and guilt, the last thing he wanted was to upset Daryl but he didn’t have the first clue about what he should do when the guy drifted off. He rubbed his hand over his face and through his curly hair, pushing it off his face. “M sorry, just bein’ a dick. Ya wanna think for a while, you’re welcome to.”

 

Daryl lowered his head, chewing on his bottom lip, "Don't apologize. Didn’t do nothin’ wrong." He looked up again, drawing Rick’s attention to the sky, now black with stormclouds that he was surprised they hand’t noticed before.

 

“Think we better go. Gonna rain soon.” Daryl pulled himself up from the ground as the first raindrop hit, holding his hand out to pull Rick up. “C’mon man, don’t want ya getting’ soaked.”

 

Rick was confused, but he followed him - again. It took a few minutes of fast paced jogging, but finally the boys and one now soaked dog reached an old car, just sitting in the middle of a clearing. Even though its roof was covered in moss, it looked like a far better option than staying out in the rain, so Rick followed Daryl’s lead and jumped into the unoccupied back seats, the front ones already filled with Ben. They were all wet and the dog stunk, but Rick was smiling. It was warmer in the car, so he got himself comfortable and looked over at Daryl, in awe of how blue his eyes seemed. He was about to open his mouth, say something that as stupid as all get out, but Daryl beat him to it. He grinned, straight white teeth poking out from behind pink lips. “Sorry fer bringin’ ya so far out, didn’t think it was gonna-“

 

Rick shushed him and laughed, "I already told ya, ya apologize way too often." Daryl's cheeks turned red and he growled.  _Fuck._ Rick's happiness was just too much for him, he almost couldn't control himself.   

 

There was a bit of an uncomfortable silence while Rick stroked Ben’s ears, smiling at the panting but happy dog. He opened his mouth a few times to say something, then thought better of it, then tried again. “What happened before? When I was tryin’ ta get your attention?”

 

Daryl hated talking about his father, about what that prick had put him through his whole life. He hadn’t even told Merle, not that the guy cared. He only gave a shit about himself, never caring about Daryl. That didn’t matter now, he could take care of himself. He was a Dixon, and Dixons weren’t pussies. “Just some bad memories.” He looked everywhere but at Rick, eventually focusing on Ben.

 

Rick frowned. "Do ya wanna ta-"

 

"No, Rick, I don't wanna talk 'bout it. It's some heavy shit, ya know? My past, I don't wanna ya to hear 'bout it",

 

 Rick nodded, but he was still curious. He could try to ask again, maybe ask something else, like why Beth didn’t want him anywhere near Daryl. But what if asking made him lose Daryl? Rick couldn’t take that, so he kept his mouth shut. He tried to think of something else to say, anything to get off the bad subjects. But then it hit him. He was going home tomorrow.

 

That made Rick’s eyes water a little as he rubbed them on his sleeve, trying to hide it from his new friend. Well, he hoped they were friends. The week had passed so quickly, when usually it dragged on and on endlessly. He clenched his fists, wishing for once that his time at Beth’s wouldn’t end. He almost didn’t notice the gentle hand on his knee.

 

"Rick, ya ok?"  

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm gonna post next two chapters really soon!


	7. Warm shadow

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I kinda drew a quick [ fanart for my fic](http://reellins.tumblr.com/post/88466984468/reellins-rick-grimes-you-belong-here-by-me), so if you want to you can check it out.  
> As always big thanks to my beta, [Redneckwoman](http://archiveofourown.org/users/Redneckwoman/pseuds/Redneckwoman) ❤

Rick quickly rubbed his eyes and sniffed, "Sure thing, why ya askin'?" He gave Daryl a little smile, hoping it wasn’t as wobbly as he felt.  

 

“Looks like ya been cryin’... Did I say somethin’ wrong?” Daryl cocked his head, eyes full of guilt. Rick sighed sadly, he didn’t want Daryl to ever look at him that way.

 

“Course not! I just...” He lowered his head again. “Just... ‘M goin’ home again soon.” He watched as Daryl froze, body tense against the seat.

 

“When?” The blonde’s voice was quieter than usual, Rick had to fight to catch what he said over the pounding rain on the roof. “Tomorrow.”

 

They met each other’s gaze, with a thousand thoughts running wild in their heads. Daryl gave him a crooked little smile, making Rick’s heart jump. Damn he loved that look.

 

“Ain’t that great? Ya’ll see yer friends again.”

 

Rick could hear what sounded like choked back tears in his voice. He drew in a deep breath, hand resting over Daryl’s for a moment. “Really wouldn’t mind stayin’ for a while longer.”

 

Every minute of conversation was feeling more and more uncomfortable, like they both had something important on their minds but just couldn’t get it out. Everything sounded so trivial, just small talk that wasn’t needed. Rick leant back into his seat, head resting against the window. He didn’t know how it was possible to like somebody so much in such a short time. He didn’t have many friends, just Glenn really. But his friendship with Glenn was different than what he had with Daryl, he couldn’t find the words to describe it but Rick knew Daryl was special. Yes, he had fun with Glenn, but he’d never thought about him like _that_. Rick had never thought about anyone like that before, only Daryl. And now he was going to lose him so soon after finding him, and for a whole year. What if Daryl wasn’t there when he came back?  

 

Daryl was the only thing that had made staying here bearable, taken away the loneliness Rick always felt even when he was next to his best friend. He knew the boy couldn’t do anything like what Beth hinted at, he wasn’t dangerous. He was a good guy. Rick let loose a deep growl under his breath, trying to hide it from Daryl but failing. Daryl’s eyes were wide, like he didn’t think Rick could make a noise like that.

 

“Well fuck, I’m kinda glad I had this accident.” Rick shrugged sadly, giving Daryl the closest thing to a grin he could with tears in his eyes. Daryl looked so confused, mouth opening and closing until finally, Rick took pity on him and finished what he was going to say. “Thanks to it, I met you. And that’s a good thing.”

Daryl blushed. He’d never heard somebody say something so nice about him. His father had always treated him like a piece of shit, he’d always said it would be far easier on everyone if Daryl just died. That he wasn’t worth nothin’. And now he was sitting in a car with someone who seemed to care about him, seemed to  _willingly_ choose Daryl’s companionship. Daryl could feel warmth filling his chest, and the feeling was so damn amazing he never wanted to lose it.

 

"Don't be stupid, I nearly killed ya." He grumbled without thinking, "Sorry I didn't mean ta-"

 

Rick couldn't hold his smile, "Sir 'M sorry." He said in the strong voice he used when he was mucking around with Glenn, pretending to be a cop. "It's illegal to say 'sorry' so often, as a punishment ya have ta spend the rest of my birthday with me." Rick lost his composure and started chuckling, but Daryl only blinked a few times and cocked his head again, "It's yer birthday today?" 

 

Rick grinned and nodded, "I don't have anything for ya." Daryl groaned resignedly and ran hand through his still wet hair, if anything he looked even more upset than before.

 

"I don't want anything, really. Rather just spend some time with ya.” Rick wasn’t lying either, he hadn’t had a birthday this good in a long time. He couldn’t think of anything better to do than spend it with his friend, the boy who seemed to spend a lot of time in Rick’s dreams.

 

Daryl dropped his head against the back of the seat and looked at the younger boy. “What’re ya thinking 'bout?”

 

"What do ya mean?" Rick asked, a little confused, it didn’t seem like something Daryl would normally ask. Daryl raised his hand and pointed at Rick's face.

"Yer eyes, ya lookin' at one point fer so long."

 

"Don't mind me, I'm just thinkin' about Beth" Daryl immediately cocked his head, "Did ya argue?"

 

Rick sighed, "Kinda, I just don't wanna talk about something to her, but I'm pretty sure she won't leave it alone."

 

 Daryl bit at his lips, eyes narrowed in concern. "Can I help ya?" 

Rick smiled at that, it looked like Daryl had enough on his plate without Rick’s problems too. "Nah, it won't change anything, but thanks."

 

"Ya sure?"

 

“Yeah, not really gonna help at the moment. She’s gonna be mad as hell if she finds out where I am.”

 

Daryl fought back the urge to groan, now he knew what Rick was talking about and couldn’t believe he was causing even more problems for the younger boy. He clenched his fists, but smiled, "If ya say so.”

* * *

 

They talked for the next two hours, Rick told him about his school, about where he lived. And Daryl told him that he had moved here about 5 months ago, he even told him about his brother. He felt so comfortable with Rick, he still didn't want to tell about his past and he didn't mention his issues with Beth, but Rick was fine with it. It was his birthday, he wanted it to be only good stuff for the day.

 

When Daryl was explaining something to Rick and waving hands in every direction, Ben started barking happily and jumped between them. He wagged his tail right in front of Daryl's face, Daryl tried to make him sit, but then he started wagging his tail even harder. Daryl kept covering his face with hands, because Ben's fur was getting inside his mouth. Rick just kept laughing, but when Daryl sighed loudly, getting more frustrated with the excitable dog, Rick clapped his hands to get Ben's attention, "Sit," his voice serious, but still warm. Ben immediately sat down. Daryl hesitantly lowered his hands, his eyes running from Rick to Ben, "Couldn't ya do this earlier?" Rick shrugged his shoulders innocently, "It was fun to look at ya when ya was so defenceless, just 'cause ya couldn't deal with Ben" Daryl tried to make an angry face, "Ain't an excuse!" He jumped over Ben and started tousling Rick's hair. 

 

"Hey, stop it!" Rick tried to escape, but the car was too small. He pushed back at Daryl, but the older boy was too strong. Finally Rick caught his hands, they were right on his cheeks, so warm and gentle that they nearly took Rick’s breath away. He met Daryl's gaze and blushed. Daryl’s eyes shone into the darkness, as he moved a little closer to Rick. Rick's heart started beating faster than it ever had, his curls falling onto his forehead and distracting him. He really needed a haircut.

 

"Rick, I..." Daryl bit his bottom lip and then Ben jumped on Daryl's back. He fell right on Rick's chest, "Fuckin' Christ, Ben!" he gasped and immediately focused on Rick again, "M so sorry, are yer ribs ok?" 

 

"Yeah, 's fine", Daryl was still lying on Rick's chest, because Ben didn't want to get off of his back. Rick wasn’t complaining, it felt nice in a weird way. Rick ran a hand through Daryl's hair to see his face, "And are you ok?"

 

Rick's voice sounded so sweet Daryl hardly could handle it. Ben was heavy as fuck, but he nodded, he didn't want to change their position yet. He leaned his head closer to Rick's. He could feel his breath, it was shallow, but steady, "Rick, I shoul-"

"Yeah, I know." he sighed, "but he just fell asleep, so it's like impossible to wake him up now, ain't kiddin'." Daryl covered his mouth and smiled, but Rick could feel it through his t-shirt and grinned, too.

They lay down like that for a while without saying anything, they didn't need words. 

* * *

 

 

Daryl cleared his throat, "What's the time?" It was already dark outside and it hadn't stopped raining yet. Rick looked at his watch, "Nine p.m." 

 

"We should go." he looked through his arm, Ben was still sleeping.

 

"Yeah, we should..." Rick stretched and Daryl tried to sit up. Ben yawned and wagged his tail, finally moving so all three could get out of the old car. The rain was still pelting down, even colder now against warm skin. Daryl took off his vest and raised it above their heads, "Come a lil closer if ya don't wanna get all wet."

 

They quickly got back to the estate, Daryl didn't want to come closer to Beth's house, so they stopped walking at the big oak tree. He put his vest on and asked quietly, "What time are ya goin' to go home?" 

 

"Three o'clock. I'm gonna go by train. Beth won't be there, so if ya don't mind-"

 

"Sure, I'll be there." Daryl started walking deeper into darkness, he looked back and waved to Rick, "I will!" 

* * *

 

 

Rick quietly opened the door, but Beth was already waiting for him in the kitchen.

"Rick, oh my god! I was worrying about you! Where have you been?" she hugged him tightly. 

 

"Sorry, I found a really nice place and-"

 

"Rick, honey, don't lie to me, it was raining all this time, where would you go?" 

 

Shit. Shit. _Shit_. He had no alibi. If it only wasn't raining... everything would be fine. 

He only shrugged his shoulders and looked at her with puppy eyes, "Don't you dare Rick.” He gave up, he didn't know what to say or do.

 

"You... were with that Dixon boy, right?" Rick froze, "Well, I think I just hit the right spot." 

_Here she goes_ , he thought. "We need to talk, Rick, please sit down and I'll make us some tea." Beth tried to smile at him, but it looked so forced, so sad. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've been writing 10th chapter right now and I'm gonna update next chapters soon!


	8. Is it meant to be this way?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Special thanks to [Redneckwoman](http://archiveofourown.org/users/Redneckwoman/pseuds/Redneckwoman) for editing it. ❤ You should read her fic "Hell on an Angel"

They both sat on the couch. Rick felt a little uncomfortable, these sorts of conversations always bothered him.

 

Beth started to speak, closed her mouth, then opened it and started again. "You barely remember your uncle, right?"

Rick nodded, but he wasn’t following. Why were they talking about his Uncle?

 

"You were just a kid, we didn't want you to know how exactly Shane died." Beth’s fingers started playing with a blanket that was thrown across the back of the couch, "We told you he died after a car accident, but it's not true." 

 

Rick felt so confused, didn't she want to talk about Daryl? What if...? But Daryl wasn't old enough to be involved in Shane’s death, he’d told Rick that he was 19 now so there was no way he could have been part of Shane dying.  

 

"He was a cop, it was his shift and someone called the police, it was just a random call, but something went wrong. When he and his partner got to the place they heard screams, they ran into building, Shane went first and then someone shot him, right in the chest." Beth’s eyes filled with tears, but she smiled gently and grabbed the blanket harder and sucked in a deep breath. "Reinforcements came too late, he lose too much blood, they couldn't help him." she clenched her fists, "The one who was shooting was Daryl's father."

 

 Rick froze. "What?" 

 

She looked him right in the eyes, "Yes, it was him. I just can't handle looking at Daryl since then.”

 

"Can you tell me what exactly happened?" Rick asked quietly, watching as a tear rolled down Beth's cheek. "That call... his partner said that someone called them ... Because they heard a kid screaming. Shane and his partner were the closest, so they responded. The person who called didn't give any more details, but it was a young man, maybe only a teenager.”

 

 _Could it be... Merle?_  Rick’s eyes filled with tears, hoping it wasn’t really kind hearted Daryl who had witnessed his father killing a cop.

 

"When they got there they heard shots and Shane, he... He always wanted to help people, so he ran inside without thinking. Three males were in the building as well as a couple of kids and Shane yelled at them to throw their guns away, but then another one came from nowhere and pulled a trigger. When Shane fell to his knees the kids ran away through the door and the police couldn't find them, but I'm pretty sure it was Daryl with his brother.”

 

"So you hate him just because his father killed Uncle Shane?" Rick sniffed quietly, filled with sympathy for the young man who had watched his father kill someone, and was treated like crap just because he’d been there. He was only a kid, what could he have done to stop it?

 

"Just because?! Rick, do you even hear what you're saying?" Beth nearly spilt her tea and Rick could see the confusion and betrayal in her eyes. He was confused as hell, but he knew one thing for sure – this wasn’t fair. Daryl hadn’t done anything wrong and Beth was cruel to behave like she had.

 

"I'm sorry Beth, but you're the one who sounds crazy, Daryl was just a kid. What was he supposed to do? His father would probably have killed him too if he’d tried to stop it. You can’t hate him because his dad killed Uncle Shane, he’s nothing like his family. He cares about other people, you can’t imagine how many times he’s apologised for that stupid accident.” Rick stood up and sucked in a deep breath, trying to calm himself down. "I know, it hurts, Shane was important to all of us, but you can't act like that."

 

"But he-"

 

"Beth, stop it!" Rick sighed, "Stop being so rough, he doesn't deserve it. You're a lovely person with a kind heart, but I can't understand it... I'm exhausted, I'm going to bed, please don't come to my room."

 

Beth opened her mouth, but when she saw Rick's eyes filled with so many emotions she only nodded slowly, watching as Rick left the room.

 

 

Rick climbed his bed and took Daryl’s bandanna out from under his pillow. He sucked in a few more deep breaths, catching the scent of cigarettes and gasoline, and what he now knew was pure Daryl.

 

Rick let all his feelings go as he sobbed quietly. The truth hurt so much, he thought his heart couldn't take it. Shane had been dead for so long, Beth had been alone almost all his life, and it was Daryl’s father’s fault. He couldn’t help being mad at Daryl’s dad, but not just for killing his Uncle. He’d also hurt Daryl, and his friend didn’t deserve that.

 

Rick would never be able to imagine what Daryl had gone through in his short life, but he could guess from the little scars all over his arms and hands. There were ones that looked like cigarette burns, others that looked like they’d been made by a blade but not self-inflicted. Rick pulled Daryl’s bandanna closer to his face while he nearly choked on his own gasping cries. He knew it was crazy to be so upset, he knew he had to calm down but he couldn’t. Rick wished he could take away every bit of misery the older boy had ever gone through.

 

It took nearly an hour, but eventually he was so worn out he didn’t even have the energy to cry anymore. Rick closed his eyes and went to sleep, dreams filled with the blue eyed redneck who had changed his life.

 

* * *

 

In the morning Rick felt like he’d been hit by a train, the cathartic effects of a good cry seeming to skip over him completely. On the plus side, he wasn’t mad at Beth anymore, just kind of... disappointed. He never expected his sweet, kind, loving aunt to be so cruel to a boy who had been too young to stop his father’s actions.

 

Rick hesitantly made his way into the kitchen, not sure if Beth was going to be furious at him for talking back to her the night before. He smiled when he saw her cooking breakfast and singing quietly to herself, sweet voice so soft that he could hardly hear her. He coughed under his breath, not wanting to startle her while she was holding a frypan. Beth spun around and gave Rick a sad little smile when she saw him hovering at the table. He opened his mouth, to apologize for being less than considerate of her feelings the night before, but she beat him to it. Her slim arms wrapped around him and she kissed his cheek.

 

“I’m sorry Rick, you were right. When Shane died... It was so hard for me, it felt like part of me died with him. I hated the entire Dixon family for taking him away from me, and it was just too much when they moved here, so close by. I loved your Uncle very much, and I can never forgive Daryl’s father for what he did to me, to our family. But I can’t blame Daryl for it, and I hope both you and he can forgive me for my horrible behaviour towards him.”

 

Tears were running down Beth’s face as she cupped Rick’s cheek and pulled him down so his forehead could rest against hers. “I’m so sorry Rick. I am so, incredibly sorry.” Rick smiled, relieved both that things were better with his aunt and that he had a chance to keep his new friend without needing to sneak around anymore. Even though it was a little late, now that he was leaving.

 

“Of course I forgive you Beth, we’re fine.”

 

She smiled, but it didn’t stop the sadness still lingering in her eyes. She wiped away the few tears still on her face and kissed Rick’s cheek.  “I’m glad. You mean the world to me Rick. You’re more like your uncle every day.”

* * *

 

Rick packed his things and made sure to hide Daryl's bandana deep in the bottom of his bag. He knew he should return it to Daryl. That didn’t mean he wanted to though. He looked around once more, grabbed his jumper off the chair and then left the room that had become his.

 

"Beth, I'm sorry, but I wanna go to the station alone." Rick was a little surprised when she just nodded in agreement, he didn’t expect her to be so okay with it. Beth must have known why he wanted to go alone, but he was glad she didn’t say anything.  

 

"I’ll miss you, Rick. It’s been lovely having you here." She hugged him tightly, hands rubbing his back as she smiled up at him.

 

 "Me too, thank you for everything," Rick grinned, "I love you!"  He picked up his bag and headed out the door, waving back to Beth as he headed out the gate.

Ben followed him along the path, no matter how many times Rick tried to send him home the dog refused. Rick groaned, he really didn’t want Ben having to walk back again but it looked like there wasn’t much choice. He took his mind off the previous night’s talk with Beth by playing with the happy dog, throwing him sticks that he found along the road.

 

It only took half an hour for them to reach the railway station and for Rick to find his platform, the warm breeze blowing his hair back. When he looked across at Ben he saw the dog staring off in the distance with his tail wagging happily. “What ya see buddy?”

 

He nearly had a heart attack when somebody answered from right behind him. “Jus’ me. Lil fucker likes sleepin’ on me.” When Rick spun around, he saw Daryl standing self-consciously on the platform, chewing on the side of his thumb, hand not covering his small crooked smile.

 

Rick grinned and fought the urge to hug the other boy. “Ya came!” Daryl snorted, eyes crinkling as his smile widened. “Course I did. Wouldn’t miss it.”

 

Rick looked into his friend’s sparkling blue eyes that seemed to be brighter every time they met. He was going to really miss that mesmerising gaze and wished he could take a photo or something, have some way of keeping a part of those blue orbs with him.

 

As Daryl plonked himself down beside Rick, the younger boy chewed at his own lip. He didn’t really want to bring it up, but he knew he needed to tell Daryl that he knew about what his father had done to Shane.

 

"Hey Daryl..." Rick started quietly, so quiet that he wasn’t sure if Daryl could hear him.

 

"Yeah?"  Daryl looked over at him, brow furrowed.

 

“I spoke to Beth, and she told me about what happened, why she didn’t like you. But that’s in the past now, and she ain’t gonna yell at ya or anything now.” Rick felt a rush of shame and guilt at his Aunt’s behaviour towards Daryl, he wished he’d spoken to her sooner. Then maybe he could have spent time with Daryl without sneaking around.

 

Daryl just stared back at him, mouth open slightly. “Ya...Ya know bout that?”

 

Rick nodded, he wished he could say something but his throat felt like it had closed up. He hoped Daryl didn’t react too badly to Rick asking about him.

 

Instead of the storm he expected, Daryl just looked away, his whole body tense. “And yer fine with that?”

 

"What do ya mean?" 

 

"That my dad killed someone, that he's in prison... that I'm his son." Daryl lowered his head, but not quickly enough for Rick to miss the ocean blue eyes that were now dull with misery.

 

"Daryl, ya ain't him. You're kind and ya really cared 'bout me after the accident. How could I hate ya fer what yer dad did?" Rick rested his hand on Daryl’s knee, squeezing gently.

 

Daryl stared at Rick’s tanned hand on his knee, shocked into silence. Everybody had always treated him badly, seen him as the redneck trash that didn’t deserve any better. They always judged him without getting to know him. But not Rick, not even after he’d found out the truth about Daryl’s father. It was a weird feeling, but it felt so damn good, too good to be true. He felt so thankful towards the kind younger boy, just for the simple act of accepting him as he was. He tried to smile but it felt like he was going to cry. “Thank you. Yer a good person Rick.”

 

Rick nodded once and returned the smile, except his felt and looked less teary. He was so damn happy that Daryl was beside him, he couldn’t imagine anybody else he’d rather have with him in that moment. “First time I’ve ever thought it, but I’m gonna miss this place... And I’m gonna miss you too.” His heart was aching like crazy, but he tried not to show it. He didn’t want to upset Daryl, not this close to leaving.

 

Daryl sighed, leaning against Rick’s shoulder. “I’m gonna see ya again, right?”

 

Rick looked over at him, enjoying the warmth of the redneck’s shoulder pressed against him. “Course ya will! I’ll be back as soon as I can get here.” His voice dropped lower and he smiled shyly, hoping he’d be able to show Daryl a little of how he felt with what he was going to say. “Won’t forget ya Daryl. Gonna miss ya like crazy.”

 

“I’ll miss you too.” Daryl leant back on one arm and smiled up at Rick, body pulled in close enough that their thighs were pressed together. Daryl’s smile nearly took Rick’s breath away, it felt like the sun itself was shining down on him. He was almost surprised by how straight and white Daryl’s teeth were, and the rose pink lips damn near called to Rick, and he wished he could lean in and ... Rick  _really_ needed to stop thinking about kissing Daryl, he wanted to keep the shy boy in his life and Rick had a feeling going with his instincts would end with him having a black eye and losing his friend.

 

Instead, he enjoyed the sunshine with Daryl in companionable silence, Ben flopped on the platform in front of them. They must have been there for over half an hour, dozing happily before Rick heard the train begin pulling into the station.

 

“Hey Daryl, I gotta go. That’s my train.” Rick’s head dipped sadly as he hauled himself up. He really didn’t want to leave. He’d had more fun over his break than he’d had at home in months, maybe longer. He looked over to Daryl, confused by the expression on his friend’s face.

 

Daryl was chewing on his lip as he pulled himself off the ground, blonde bangs shadowing his eyes as he stared at Rick. He looked conflicted and unsure as he sucked in a deep breath. Rick turned away to grab his bag and say goodbye to Ben, but as he told the dog to head home, he felt a soft tug on his wrist. He nearly melted when he spun around.

 

Daryl was only inches away from Rick, head tilted as he leant in closer. He pressed his lips to Ricks, and all the younger boy could think about was how much softer they were in reality compared to his dreams. His knees shook and his bag dropped from his hand. His eyes slipped closed and he went to slide his hand around Daryl’s slim waist, but he stopped when he felt Daryl’s muscles tense against him. He settled for resting it against his stomach and losing himself in the kiss. He never wanted it to end, it was so warm, so sweet.

 

Ben’s loud woof broke the moment as he barked at the train, now pulled up beside them. Daryl pulled away and Rick followed the movement reluctantly. Daryl’s lips had gone a rose pink and he brought his fingers up to rest on them. “Bye Rick.” He let go of his hand and began to walk away.

 

Rick didn’t know if he should follow his heart and run after the older boy and continue the kiss. Should he yell out to him? But the train was about to leave, he had to get home or his parents would worry. He couldn’t think straight, he could only think about how much he wanted Daryl back.

 

The train’s final whistle broke his concentration as it began preparations to leave the station and Rick swore. He still didn’t know what to do, but seeing as Daryl hadn’t turned back once and was disappearing from view as he left the station and headed towards the woods again, Rick didn’t think he had much choice. He threw his bag over his shoulder and ran for the train door, making it just before it closed.

 

* * *

 

Daryl finally stopped walking once he’d reached the woods and made sure he wasn’t visible from the road or train tracks. He just wanted to be alone as he slid down to rest beside a large tree, back pressed into the bark. His face and chest felt like they were on fire with arousal and shame and embarrassment. He dropped his face into his hands and sniffled. He didn’t know what had come over him, why the hell did he kiss Rick? The younger boy had seemed surprised at first but then he’d appeared to be eager to keep going. But was he just trying to spare Daryl’s feelings? The redneck sighed, of course he was. He’d been a good friend, the only one Daryl had ever had.

 

Not that he had any friends now. Rick was sure to be disgusted by him now, first he’d ran the poor guy over with his bike then he’d  _kissed_  him! He hadn’t tried to stop Daryl leaving either, but wasn’t that to be expected? No decent person would want to be near somebody like him. Tears started rolling down his face and he mentally chastised himself for being such a pussy. Dixons didn’t cry. But then again, most of the Dixon family never got the opportunity to feel what a broken heart felt like.

 

He’d fucked up so bad yet again, and now he was alone. As usual.


	9. Too afraid to love You

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Special thanks to [Redneckwoman](http://archiveofourown.org/users/Redneckwoman/pseuds/Redneckwoman) for editing it. ❤

Rick’s mum Lori was already waiting for Rick when he got to the train station. It was a 6 hour trip by train what with all the stops, so it was getting dark as he got to the carpark. He was still so lost in thought that he nearly forgot to get off the train.

 

Lori wrapped her arms around him as he got to the car and then she held him at arm’s length, checking him over. Beth had phoned her and told her what had happened, and he’d rang his mother since he’d got out of the hospital and assured her that he was fine, but she had spent the remainder of his holiday worrying. Rick was her only child, so he’d expected the nervousness. After she’d checked him over she leant up at cupped his face in her hands. “I missed you sweetie.”

 

Rick smiled and kissed her cheek. “Same Mom.”

 

Her brows furrowed as she looked him over. “Are you okay? You don’t look great honey.” Rick sighed, he knew there was no way he could hide anything from his Mom.

“No, I’m just worn out. It was so hot on the train, it’s made me kinda tired.”

 

He really was tired, but that wasn’t the problem. In reality he just hadn’t been able to relax after that kiss, he couldn’t get Daryl out of his mind. The expression on his face just before the kiss, so unsure but still hopeful, and how dejected he looked when he’d pulled back and said goodbye... And about how wonderful the kiss felt. He was so lost in his own head that he didn’t notice Lori going to grab his bag and put it in the trunk, and he jumped backwards and hit the car. She gave him a concerned and puzzled look and he sighed in relief. “Sorry Mom, was lost in my own thoughts there. I’ll take it.”

 

Daryl’s bandanna was in that bag, and it was weird but he just didn’t want to be away from it. He felt bad for not returning it, but it was all he had of his ... What was Daryl now? Rick concluded he was hopefully still his friend. He wished he’d been able to take a photo of them at some point, so he had some other way to remember the boy other than a bandanna. Rick hoped that the memory of Daryl’s angelic face wouldn’t disappear from his mind before they got to meet again. “Can we go home? I’m kinda hungry.”

 

Lori grinned as she climbed into the car. “Good, because I made you something special.” Rick smiled in return and got into his own side of the car, looking back as they pulled away from the station carpark.

* * *

 

Lori had made Rick steak and roast vegetables for dinner, because she knew it was his favourite. And for dessert he got a big bowl of strawberries with sugar and whipped cream and he ate so much that he felt his stomach pressing against his jeans. Still, in the back of his mind he couldn’t stop thinking about Daryl. What was he eating for dinner? Rick really hoped he’d gotten something to eat, the older boy looked so slim it was almost frightening.

 

He sat in his, leaning on the windowsill and thinking about the nights Daryl had come to visit him. He was glad to be home, but at the same time his heart ached with every beat. He had the bandanna wrapped around his fingers, still with a lingering scent of everything that was pure ‘Daryl’. He looked up at the stars, thinking about how much his life had changed over his holiday and again that day. The stars captivated him, every one brought his mind back to the sparkling of Daryl’s eyes. It felt like everything he did, everything he saw or thought brought his mind back to the redneck with a sad past.

 

The falling star shooting across the sky made him nearly drop his empty bowl. He closed his eyes and made a wish.

 

_I just wanna seem him again._

* * *

 

 When Rick woke up the next morning, he had tangled himself in his blanket and still had the bandanna in his left hand. He rubbed his thumb across it and held it near his face, wishing that he was able to stop the smell of cigarettes from slowly disappearing and being replaced with Rick’s own scent.

 

It had only been a day since they’d had to say goodbye but it already felt like forever. Rick knew his dreams had been filled with ocean blue eyes shadowed by dark blonde bangs, eyes that were so deep that he felt like he could drown in them. When he caught a glimpse of them they looked so wild, almost feral. It was odd how much he liked that look, and hoped nobody ever fully tamed Daryl.

 

He sucked in a deep breath, filling his lungs again with that sweet nicotine scent. Every time he touched or smelt the piece of cloth it took his mind back to lying in the old car with Daryl on his chest, blonde hair tickling his chin and luminous eyes twinkling up at him. Then his memories flashed back to the kiss yesterday and it made him blush. Those soft and gentle lips were incredible, Daryl's lips were so soft, so gentle.

 

It had been Rick's first kiss, but he didn’t mind that Daryl, well, stole it without asking. It was too damn good to regret, instead he was incredibly happy. And rather confused. But it was so damn good, Rick didn't regret it. Had Daryl just been playing with him, or experimenting to see if he liked it? Or was he serious, did he like Rick enough to kiss him again? He’d looked strong as he walked away, but Rick had seen a glimpse of shame and fear in Daryl’s eyes. Question was, was he ashamed because he’d kissed Rick, or because he thought Rick didn’t like it? Rick scrubbed his hand over his eyes and sighed, he wished he’d had a chance to say something to Daryl after the kiss, tell him how much he enjoyed it. But Rick wasn’t sure exactly what he would have said anyway, he didn’t have any experience with this stuff. He didn’t even know what name he could put to his feelings for Daryl. Rick thought back to every image, every memory in his mind of the older boy. He loved Daryl’s smile, his face, the way he’d been so worried about Rick and wanted to see him every day. How he’d looked when he was walking across the fallen log in the woods, the smile on his face and his laughter when they’d been mucking around in the old car, the feeling Rick had gotten when Daryl had come to his bedroom window, just to talk for a while.

 

But they’d only met a week or so ago, it couldn’t be more than a crush... Could it? Rick groaned, he was giving himself a headache thinking about it. It felt like more than just a high school crush, but he’d never believed in love at first sight. Maybe his mind was just playing with him, reading more into it than there really was. He hoped that wasn’t it, hoped that Daryl was thinking of him too. Rick wished he’d had a chance to give Daryl his number or maybe grab his instead, even gotten his address at some point so he could write to him, just let Daryl know he was thinking of him. He wasn’t sure if he could wait until the next holidays to tell Daryl that he hadn’t been able to get the kiss off his mind.

 

The knocking on his door startled Rick enough that he nearly fell out of bed, scrambling to hide the bandanna. But it was too late, Lori was already in his room. “Good morning. What’s this?” She gestured to the tail of the bandanna, hanging out from under Rick’s pillow.

 

“Uh, just something I got at Beth’s.” He felt his cheeks flush as he tucked the cloth completely under his pillow.

 

“Oh, that’s nice.” She smiled down at him. “But can you tell me why you were sleeping with it?”

 

Rick blinked up at her, completely lost for words. He didn’t know what to say. Instead he just dropped his head back onto his pillow mumbling something incomprehensible. Lori sighed down at him, rolling her eyes. “Whatever, breakfast is ready if you’re hungry.” She headed back out the door, closing it behind her.

 

Rick sighed in relief when Lori had left and was a good way down the hallway. He curled up to his pillow, rubbing his thumb over a piece of the bandanna. As he looked around his room that almost felt unfamiliar to him now, he realised everything was a bit blurry even after waking up completely. Lately, he’d been worried that he was going to need glasses and he was starting to think he was probably right.

 

He dragged himself out of bed and got dressed, making sure the bandanna was tucked inside his pillow case away from prying eyes. He headed downstairs to enjoy the last day of his holiday before school started again the next day.

 

* * *

 

Daryl was sacked out on their old, broken down couch, his eyes still teary. One hand had flopped onto the floor and the other was tucked under his head. He was hoping he’d be able to stop himself crying, but he couldn’t stop thinking about Rick. It was pretty normal for him to be alone, hell he’d been alone for years and had even learnt to like the feeling of not having to deal with other people. But when he met Rick, something had changed, every time he’d been apart from the younger boy he missed everything about him. He loved the kid’s laugh and gentle touches, how he wasn’t always talking and seemed to enjoy just being with Daryl even if they were silent, and how he seemed to know when to keep his hands to himself. Daryl had never really liked being touched, brought back too many bad memories, but he liked it when Rick touched him. Didn’t matter what he was doing, it was always gentle and soothing. Comfortable.

 

Daryl groaned, he still couldn’t believe he’d kissed the younger boy, he’d never been into guys before. Hell, he’d never really been into anything, didn’t see the point of liking somebody when he knew he was going to get turned down if he’d approached them. But something about Rick kept calling to him and he hadn’t been able to get the thought of kissing him out of his mind. Now he’d wished he’d kept his fucking lips to himself, after he’d seen the look on Rick’s face when they’d finally pulled apart. Hell, even if Daryl had been wrong, and it hadn’t been disgust, that Rick had actually enjoyed kissing him, it wasn’t like they could ever go any further than that one time. There was no way a good guy like Rick, a cop’s nephew from a good family, a respectable person, would ever do anything more than kiss Daryl. A no hoper, redneck piece of trash. And even though Rick had been okay with what Daryl’s father had done, killing his uncle, then it wasn’t like Rick’s family would accept him.

 

Merle stomped his way into the living room, startling Daryl out of his thoughts. “What’s wrong with ya baby brother?”

 

Daryl hissed grumpily, stretching himself out on the couch so Merle couldn’t fit. Wouldn’t matter, the fat ass would probably sit on him anyway. “S’nothin. Leave me alone.”

 

Merle snickered at him, leaning over the top of the couch. “Oh c’mon. Ya look like a kicked puppy.”

 

Daryl snarled, dropping his hand over his face. “Already told ya ‘m fine! Or are ya too stupid ta understand that?”

Merle’s chuckles increased as he crossed his arms and leant as far into Daryl’s space as he could. “Aw, don’t tell me yer girlfriend dumped yer dumb ass?”

 

That was too close to the truth for Daryl and it pised him off no end. “Fuck off Merle!” He jumped to his feet and stood toe to toe with his older brother. “Just keep yer damn mouth shut or I’ll kick yer ass!”

 

Merle burst out laughing, glaring down at his smaller brother, fists clenched at his sides. “Is that so? Well c’mon Daryleena, come at me.”

 

Daryl stayed still, breathing hard. He really didn’t want to get into a fight with his brother, but he wasn’t in the mood for his shit today. Merle snorted, turning away slightly. “That’s what I thought, ya won’t hit yer bro-“

 

Daryl spun back to meet his brother face on and snapped his fist right into Merle’s jaw in a vicious right hook, snarling down at him when he hit the floor. “Told ya ta leave me alone ya asshole!”

 

Merle made to grab Daryl’s leg and pull him down but he sprinted past, straight out the front door.

 

Daryl ran until he as out of breath and exhausted. Unable to run anymore, he flopped down beside the big oak tree he’d spent so much time with Rick at. He couldn’t put into words how he felt, he didn’t know why he’d lost his shit at Merle, but couldn’t the big dickhead just keep his mouth shut and leave him alone?

 

Daryl didn’t want to think about Rick anymore, wanted to forget about the good boy who would never settle for a piece of filthy white trash, but every fucking thing reminded him of the other boy. Daryl dropped his head back against the tree, growling in frustration. He tried to close his eyes and catch his breath, but every time his eyes slid shut an image of Rick’s smiling face appeared.

 

“For fuck’s sake!” Daryl roared, throwing a stick across the woods. He didn’t  _want_ to see Rick’s face, didn’t want to see anything to do with the guy! He wished he’d never hit the boy, never followed him to the hospital, wished he’d never been stupid enough to fall head over heels for him. It would have been for the best if they’d never known the other existed.

 

But at the mere thought of never knowing Rick, never holding him in his arms and lying on his chest, well that damn near killed Daryl. He sighed, knowing Rick was the best thing he’d ever had in his life, and if the last week was all they had, well it would be something Daryl would cherish for the rest of his miserable life.  

 

* * *

The next day Rick fell back into his regular routine of going to school and meeting Glenn at the front gate. After their first few classes, they headed out for lunch. It was a stinking hot day and in their school blazers they were both miserable and desperate for something cold. They got a Coke each from the school cafeteria and sat down under some trees to cool off.

 

“Man, I’m gonna melt.” Glenn was panting as he pulled on his blazer and tugged at his tie. Rick smiled at his friend as he did the same, wishing he knew how to tell him what had happened over his holiday. Usually they could and would talk about everything together but this time felt different. It didn’t help that every time he thought of his best friend, Rick thought of Daryl too, wishing he could be sitting next to them. He sighed wistfully at that thought, lost in his musings until Glenn shook his shoulder.

 

“Ya okay Rick? Looks like you’re somewhere else buddy.”

 

Rick blushed, he really needed to stop thinking about Daryl when there were other people around or they’d start thinking he’d lost his marbles. “Yeah, I’m fine. Don’t worry about it.”

 

Glenn laid his head back against his arm, looking up at Rick and squinting in the sun. “I don’t know man, you’ve been all out it since you got here this morning.” He gave Rick a gentle smile. “I’m just worried about you, that’s all.”

 

Rick hoped he didn’t really look that bad. He bit at his bottom lip, not sure if now was the time to talk about Daryl with Glenn. Not to mention the accident, the kiss... He knew Glenn wouldn’t judge him, but he was still unsure about voicing his feelings for the older boy. At least until he’d figured out exactly what they were. It would be nice to know how Daryl felt about him, what his motivation for the kiss was. On the other hand, maybe Glenn would be able to give him an outside perspective on the whole matter.

 

Rick sucked in a deep breath and opened his mouth to speak, but then closed it again. He fought with himself over and over for a few minutes, until he realised his Coke was getting warm from just sitting in his hands. He tapped his fingers nervously and opened his mouth again. 

 

“I had a bit of an accident over the holidays.” He began quietly. Glenn sat up, ramrod straight.

 

“Holy shit Rick are you okay?” His eyes searched all over Rick, as though he’d be able to see any damage.

“I was in hospital for three days, but I’m alright. My ribs don’t hurt anymore.”

 

Glenn nodded, looking slightly appeased but still a little confused. “Man, what happened? Is that why you’ve been out of it today, ya still thinking about it?”

 

Rick smiled quietly down at his friend. “I got hit by a motorcycle, and yeah... I guess you’re right in a way.” He took a sip of his drink, waiting for Glenn to ask the questions he knew were coming.  He didn’t have to wait long.

 

“What about the person riding the motorbike?”

 

Rick blushed again, damn it felt like his face was constantly red these daysHe ducked his head, trying to hide his face from Glenn’s searching gaze. “Well, he’s fine too. It wasn’t anything serious.”  

 

“What? Rick, you were in hospital. That’s serious!” Glenn waved his hands in front of Rick’s face, as though he could wipe away the fog he thought was covering Rick’s thoughts.

 

“I know but like I said, I’m healing fine. Just relax man.” He gave Glenn as convincing a smile as he could manage, and wished he had the words to describe everything else that had happened in the week he was away.

 

Glenn arched an eyebrow at him but then just sighed and ran his hand through his silky hair. “Fine, but if ya wanna talk, I’m here.”  

 

* * *

The next day was even worse for Rick. He nearly missed his bus, forgot to take his maths textbook, and his hair was in his eyes constantly. Plus his head was killing him, school and study were already unbearable. Lori reminded him in the morning that they were going to an optometrist that afternoon, just to make sure he didn’t need glasses, at least for reading. Rick hoped not, but the way things were going for him, he guessed he probably would end up needing them all the time.

 

He was in a dark mood, but there was one thing making the day bearable. He had grabbed Daryl’s bandanna that morning, wrapping it around his throat. The still lingering smell of everything that was pure Daryl calmed his thoughts.

 

Rick met Glenn just before the bell rang. The Asian immediately noticed the bandanna and his eyes widened as he took it in. “Nice bandanna man. Where did you get that?”

 

Rick grinned, but he wished Glenn hadn’t asked. Every time he thought about where the bandanna came from it both lifted his thoughts and dropped them again. “Um, I bought it at Beth’s place.”

 

 Glenn’s eye’s narrowed. “Don’t lie to me Rick. It stinks of cigarettes and you don’t smoke. Do you?”

 

Rick blushed again and ducked his head. Glenn gasped. “You don’t, do you? Are you stupid, seriously man!”

 

Rick hushed him as quickly as he could, putting his hands over Glenn’s mouth. He didn’t need the attention from other people right now. “Of course I don’t smoke you idiot.” The other boy just blinked at him, still waiting for the rest of the explanation. Rick pulled his hands away, brushing his curly hair away from his face. “Well, let’s just say I got it from... A friend of mine.”

 

Glenn’s eyes rolled. “Couldn’t you have just told me that? And why are you whispering?”

 

Rick groaned and gave up. “It’s complicated.”


	10. The smell of the gas gets to people

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Finally next chapter! I was really struggling with writing, but it's done. I really wanna thank [Redneckwoman](http://archiveofourown.org/users/Redneckwoman/pseuds/Redneckwoman) for being the best beta ever, your support is amazing ❤

Glenn and Rick found a park to hide in while they skipped class, and tucked themselves underneath an old oak tree. Rick sighed sadly when just the sight of the tree reminded him of the one near Beth’s house, the one he’d spent so much time under with Daryl. It felt like he couldn’t shake the other boy out of his thoughts.

Glenn looked over at his friend, and Rick wished he could hide the sadness on his face when Glenn’s happiness turned to concern again.

 

“Feeling any better?”

 

Rick shook his head ruefully. “Not really, but I’m sure on one thing. I wouldn’t be able to get through maths right now.” He grinned over at his friend, glad to see it returned full force. It was starting to feel like old times, skipping class every now and then and talking about nothing.

 

Glenn dropped his head back against the tree and tilted it to stare at Rick. “So ... Do you wanna talk about this or something else?”

 

Rick really was a bit shocked at how well Glenn was taking everything, but wasn’t sure if he wanted to give him any more information or if it was even his place to. Yes, Glenn knew about Daryl now, but did Rick really want to tell him about Daryl’s father, what he done to Shane? What if he judged Daryl badly for it instead of being supportive?  But that didn’t feel like something Glenn would do, Rick was honestly amazed by Glenn’s unerring support so far.

 

"You promise not to tell anyone?" 

 

"Of course, dude. You can trust me, you're my best friend. I’d never repeat anything." Glenn looked a little insulted that Rick would even think his confidence would be betrayed.

 

 Rick felt his every muscle relax, more grateful than ever that he had managed to get a friend like the Korean. "Thanks Glenn.” His fingers started playing with the grass under his body, not sure what to say. “His name’s...” He turned his gaze away and bit his bottom lip, not sure if he should go ahead. Although if anyone would support him, it seemed like it would be Glenn. “It’s Daryl. He’s 19.”

 

Glenn didn’t say anything, just waited for Rick to continue. Rick focused on the thick carpet of grass and wildflowers surrounding them, his eyes stopping on a bright blue cornflower nearby before he pulled it out to wrap it around his finger. “He’s got gorgeous eyes, kinda like this flower.” It felt like Rick could see Daryl again, standing right in front of him. Without any problems he described his beautiful face, strong arms, even the vest. When he finished his face turned red, "I’ve never felt like this before, until I met him, I'm not sure if it's right or-"

 

Glenn finally stopped him mid-ramble. "Man there’s nothing wrong with it, you shouldn't be ashamed or something, man. It doesn't matter if it's a girl or a boy as long you like him. Or more like actual 'like.'" Glenn sniggered at the look on Rick’s face, seemingly getting even redder. “Sounds like he looks pretty good too, and from what ya say I think he likes you back."

 

Rick still hadn’t told him about the kiss, and the fact that Daryl was the one who had initiated it.  He hid his face in his hands, not sure he could actually blush anymore without catching fire. He couldn’t remember ever being so embarrassed, but he was still excited. And just a little confused at how well Glenn seemed to pick up everything and could seemingly see how Daryl felt too, just from what Rick had said.

 

"Hey, what's going on? Did I say something wrong?" 

 

"No, no..." Rick mumbled. Glenn looked rather puzzled, and Rick tried to calm him with a smile. He’d never been more thankful for someone’s insight into his problems.

 

  _He likes you back_ echoed into his mind.

* * *

 

When Rick got home, Lori as usual asked him how his day had gone. He didn’t really want to tell her, so he just mumbled, ‘It was alright,” before sitting at the table and dropping his head onto his arms.

 

Lori ran a hand through the curls falling over his face when he cocked his head to the side. “Honey, since you came back from Beth’s you’ve been really down. Do your ribs hurt or is something else wrong?”

 

Rick really didn’t want to talk about it again, he’d spent enough time talking about it all day, so he just nodded quietly and rubbed at his aching eyes. He was tired as hell, stressing since he had gotten on the train and then trying to explain everything to Glenn was exhausting. His mother kissed his cheek and patted at his arm gently. 

“You’ll feel better soon honey. Do you need more painkillers?  

 

“Nah, it’s okay. I still have some left from the hospital.”

 Lori started to say something, but loud footsteps echoing up the hall disturbed both her and Rick, as their father made his way into the kitchen.

 

“Hi, son.” His usually cheerful father gave a tight smile down at him, but when he looked over at Lori it was replaced with a blank look.

 

“I think we need to talk, Lori.”

 

She pressed her back to the wall and crossed her arms. "What's going on  _this_  time Peter?"

 

Peter sighed and lowered his tone. "How about we talk about it outside, in private?”

 

 Rick held back the groan bubbling up in his throat. Lately his parents had been having a rough time, and they never seemed happy together. He was old enough to understand the hushed, angry words drifting through the walls at night, and more than one he’d come out in the middle of the night to get a glass of water and seen his father asleep on the couch. Rick didn’t bother trying to tell them it didn’t matter if they went outside to ‘talk’, he still knew what was going on. He picked up his bag and started to leave the room, hoping he could hibernate in his room for a while.

 

“Rick?” Peter’s words made Rick turn around to look back at his parents, both looking older than ever and worried.

 

“M fine, just going to my room. Got a lot of study to do.” He wouldn’t if he’d been able to concentrate since he’d gone back to school, but his parents didn’t need to know that.

 

“You’re not hungry? I cooked – “ Lori’s eyebrows furrowed and she tilted her head to watch him sadly.

 

“No thanks Mom, I’m alright.” Rick turned to leave again, ignoring whatever his mother said in return. He was back to thinking about Daryl again, how he wanted to see him more than ever, hug him, let him know that Rick at the very least wanted him back. He wished Daryl was at his house, because at least then Rick could relax, feel comfortable again and forget what was going on in his life. Rick doubted he would have to say anything to let Daryl know he was struggling with everything, because it always felt like the other boy could understand him without words.

 

He climbed onto his bed and flopped back on the pillows. He had so much work to do, but he just couldn’t focus on anything. His thoughts were swinging from Daryl, to his parents when he heard shouting from outside, and back to Daryl again.

 

At a particularly loud yell from his Mom and the slamming of the back door, Rick groaned and covered his ears. Christ, he was sick of them. He loved them to death, but he was over the constant arguments, the way they couldn’t stand to be around each other anymore.  He dug his iPod out of his bag and put his earphones in, relaxing a little when the music began but as soon as the lyrics started he stiffened up.

 

 _The distance is quite simply much too far for me, it seems farther than ever before, I need you so much closer..._  

 

And that marked the time for him to change the song. Rick couldn’t handle it, how had one person changed his life so radically in such a short time? He had such strong feelings for Daryl, more than he’d ever had for anyone before. Surely he wasn’t in love?

Rick shook his head, of course he wasn’t in love. If he was, surely it wouldn’t fuck with his feelings so much.

 

Feelings. Fucking things were exhausting, especially when they were as strong as the ones coursing through him right now.

 

He softly kissed the bandanna wrapped around his neck, and even with that almost unconscious movement, he just wanted to stop thinking about Daryl.

* * *

 

The next few weeks were even harder. Rick had always had excellent grades, but now he couldn’t study, couldn’t focus. He also hadn’t spoken to Glenn about Daryl since their day at the park. The whole damn thing was starting to feel like an opened wound that just wouldn’t heal.

 

His parents hadn’t stopped arguing, hell if anything they got worse. It was starting to make him feel physically ill whenever they were around.

On Friday afternoon, he came into the house after school to his parents screaming at each other, and Rick missed when he was younger and they were a happy family without any major problems. As he walked into the hallway, he caught the tail end of his father’s defeated voice as he spoke to Lori.

 

“Lori, I think it’s over. I can’t take this anymore, neither can you. I think we should get a divorce.”

 

Rick felt like a bucket of ice water had been dumped on his head. He’d kind of figured this was coming, but it wasn’t something he had wanted to hear, nor walk in on it happening.

Lori saw him as he turned to leave and called him back. “Honey, it’s okay – “ 

"No, I can’t deal with this, I’ll stay with Glenn tonight. I can’t put up with your arguing anymore, I need a break.”

 

Rick bolted to his room to pack his bag, but it wasn’t far enough away for him to completely ignore the sounds of Lori trying to stop him, comfort him, and Peter telling her to let him go.

 

“He needs time. I know what he’s going through, my folks divorced too remember?”

* * *

 

Half an hour later Rick was standing in front of Glenn’s house, without realising how far he’d walked on autopilot, mind still jumping between Daryl and his parents. He hadn’t even asked his friend if he could stay, but he knew there wouldn’t be any problems. They’d always ended up staying at each other’s houses when they had problems, whether they be with their parents or schoolwork.

 

Rick hadn’t even knocked at the door before Glenn was opening it, having seen him standing there looking completely lost. Once he’d greeted Glenn’s mom they made their way into Glenn’s bedroom, which was far tidier than anything Rick would ever manage.

 

The Korean leant over and poked the bandanna still wrapped around Rick’s neck.

 

“You’re still wearing this?”

 

Rick pulled his new glasses off and groaned. His eyes were already watering from the sheer emotion of the day, and with Glenn’s words the tears threatened to spill over.

 

Of course Glenn noticed immediately, the boy never missed anything and he felt dreadful for making Rick look so ... downtrodden.

 

“I’m sorry man, I didn’t mean to – “

His words came too late, Rick had slid to the floor and started sobbing quietly into his arms.

 

“Fuck I’m so  _tired_   Glenn. Everything’s turned to shit and I’m not handling it well. I can’t stop thinking about Daryl, I’ve tried I really have but it’s only made it worse...” Rick trailed off when he realized how damn desperate and idiotic he sounded. His friend flopped down beside him, hand reaching out to rest on Rick’s shoulder.

 

“I think I get it. I mean, I can’t stop thinking about Maggie as it is and I get to see her every day.”

 

Rick smacked his head non-too-gently against the wall. “Yeah, but you’re in love with her. Wait, ya don’t think I’m ...” He couldn’t finish that sentence, put it out in the open.

 

Glenn looked thoughtful for a moment, then hesitantly nodded. “Yeah, maybe . I mean, I don’t know what exactly happened between you too but you seem very attached to him. More than a crush anyway.”

 

With that, Rick figured it was time to tell Glenn the rest of what had happened during what he was considering the best week of his life. He wasn’t sure where to start, so started at the beginning.

 

“Have I ever told you about my Uncle Shane? The one married to Beth?”

 

Glenn nodded, so Rick continued.

 

“Well, he was killed by Daryl’s father.”

 

That wasn’t quite how he’d meant to say it, and from the way Glenn’s mouth was so widely open, and his eyes were bugging out of his head Rick knew he’d started in the wrong place. He should have told Glenn about Daryl and him in the woods or the kiss as he was leaving.

 

Rick felt like an idiot the longer Glenn stayed silent. Now that he had it out in the open, he knew it sounded completely ridiculous to be so attracted to a person whose father killed a member of your family.

 

They sat in an awkward silence for a few, interminably long minutes while Glenn sorted through what had been said and Rick tried to sink into the carpet under his ass.

Finally, Glenn cleared his throat.

 

“Buddy, I don’t know what to say.”

 

Rick’s heart thudded loudly in his chest, his veins, hell even his fucking head. He hoped he wasn’t about to lose the only friend he could depend on so far. Before Rick could work himself into a panic attack, Glenn spoke again.

 

“But it was his father, not him, right?”

 

Rick nodded tensely, still staring at the floor. He wasn’t entirely sure where Glenn was going to go with this.

 

“Well then, that’s not a problem as long as he isn’t that close to his dad, yeah? I mean, otherwise he could be at risk too.”

 

“I don’t think he is.” Rick smiled over at his friend, unable to hide the hope and happiness in his voice. “He’s safe now.”  He fiddled with the bandanna, twisting the edge of it around his fingers to hide the fact that he wanted to cry. “I mean, I hope he is.”

 

“Hey man, don’t cry! Of course he’s safe. He sounds pretty tough.”

 

“Yeah, he is.” Rick smiled again, but it was a little bittersweet. He wished he knew how Daryl was really going.

* * *

 

Rick’s parents decided he should go to Beth’s for Christmas. They didn’t let him know until Winter break began, and when they told him he couldn’t believe it. He didn’t know what to say, except to maybe tell them it was just about the best present they could give him which didn’t really sound appropriate.

 

He knew he should be sad, usually his family spent Christmas together. But now they were divorced and his parents could hardly sit in the same room as each other without looking uncomfortable. Rick thanked them for letting him get away for a while, and held his composure until he got to his room. Once he was behind the closed door he hit the bed at full speed and hugged his pillow. He knew he was smiling like an idiot, but he couldn’t help it. He was going to, hopefully, see Daryl again.

It was already dark outside when Peter dropped Rick to the train station. Snow was everywhere and the cold wind was blowing it straight onto Rick’s face. He tried to hide his nose behind a scarf, but it didn’t help his cheeks which were now burning red. He’d managed to slip Daryl’s bandanna under the scarf without noticing, not wanting to be without it. It was odd how attached he had become to a piece of cloth, but it was the only tangible reminder he had of Daryl. It no longer smelled of the older boy, but it was still his.

Rick pulled his beanie down further over his eyes before rubbing his hands together. He was freezing, but he was also really excited. He couldn’t imagine how Daryl was going to react to seeing him earlier than either of them had expected, and hoped the other would be as glad to see him as Rick was going to be.

 

His mind wouldn’t get away from thinking about their kiss and it was making him blush even more than usual because his father was still standing only a couple of feet away.

 

They both stood on the platform and waited for the train in silence until Peter hesitantly  cleared his throat.

 

“Rick...”

 

Rick turned his face to his father for a second, then went back to staring blankly into the distance.

 

“I’m sorry Rick that this happened to you. Just please, remember that we both love you and care about you very much. And you haven’t done anything wrong.”

 

Rick sucked in a deep breath, holding the cool air until his lungs ached. He really didn't want to talk about it, especially now. He couldn't focus on Peter's words, he just kept thinking about Daryl. About his mesmerizing gaze, the strength of his arms. He wanted to see him, now. Hell, yesterday wasn’t soon enough. Rick wanted to tell him how badly he’d missed him, that he thought of him every day. That he wanted to hug him, make Daryl feel as safe beside him as Daryl made him feel. Wanted to tell him just how badly he wanted to be near the other boy.

 

The question was, was Rick brave enough to do it, to tell Daryl just how strong his feelings were? He’d finally started to accept his feelings, after thinking about them almost twenty-four-seven and going with only a couple of hours sleep a night.

A cold gust of air reminded him where he was, and Rick looked over to see Peter peering concernedly down at him. Now that Rick was growing they were nearly the same height with Rick at 5’9” and his father at 5’11”. Rick felt bad for staying silent so long, so he blinked the snow from his eyes and tried to show his caring and love for his father in his smile.

 

"I understand, of course it'd be better if you and mom were still together. But it's your decision, not mine. As long as I can see both of you then that's okay. I want you to be happy, dad."

 

Peter patted his shoulder, his face looked more relaxed now, "Thank you, Rick. I know what you're going through, I should be a better father, but I think I’d do a worse job if your mother and I stayed together."

 

Rick hushed him as quickly as he could. “It really is okay, you’re a really good dad. We all got things we need to work through.”

 

Rick and Peter stood in what was now companionable silence, until the train pulled into the station beside them.

 

"I have to go dad, take care!" He took his bag from the ground and run to the train. Peter just smiled gently and said quietly "You too Rick, you too."

* * *

 

Rick got into the train and found a seat by the window. Taking off his scarf and beanie, he curled up into a ball and made himself comfortable, sighing with relief. The heat in the train was so strong that it nearly sent him to sleep.

 

At first he was just staring out the window at the darkness outside, but then he caught his reflection in the mirror. Rick jumped a little, not noticing until then how much he had changed. With his longer, messier hair and his new dark-framed glasses, he looked three or four years older, and he hoped Daryl would recognize him and still be interested. Actually, Rick just hoped Daryl was still interested at all.

 

It took a few hours, but finally he arrived at the station to see Beth happily waiting for him, waving to him through the window. Once he made his way through the tiny crowd, he gave her a hug and gave her a grin. He’d never expected to be so happy to be back at her place, normally he complained about coming but this time he had packed his bags in under an hour.

 

Beth leant up on her tiptoes and kissed his forehead and smiled up at him.

"You look so handsome Rick! I only saw you a couple of months ago, and now I’d swear you were nineteen!”

 

Her giggles made Rick blush. “Quit it Beth! I missed you too, by the way.”

 

She giggled again and smacked his arm as they walked to the car. “Of course I missed you!”

 

The trip back to Beth’s house was a cheerful one, with both of them chatting happily the whole way and Rick speaking more than he had in days. He would have been happier if Beth had stopped asking if he had a girlfriend or if he was interested in anyone. Rick blushed and stammered as he told her he wasn’t interested in anybody at all, and Beth arched an eyebrow and grinned at him knowingly. He hoped she couldn’t see that he hadn’t even looked at anyone since he’d met Daryl, unable to wipe the image of blue eyes and thin, perfect lips from his memory.

 

When they pulled into Beth’s driveway, Rick was rubbing his eyes and yawning. It was already past midnight and he was completely exhausted, so he said goodnight and staggered to the bedroom he had used the last time he stayed. He curled up facing the window, and fell asleep smiling when it reminded him of Daryl coming in through his window.

* * *

 

When Rick woke, it was already mid-morning and he felt embarrassed for sleeping so long. It was strange that he had slept in so late, when at home he could hardly get an hour or more at a time. He stumbled out to the kitchen, still half asleep. He slumped in his chair at the dining table, and was grateful for the cup of coffee Beth placed in front of him, accompanied with a caring smile. 

 

“Good morning sweetie, did you sleep okay?”

 

Rick nodded, it was the best sleep he’d had in ages.  He stared out of the kitchen window and began planning how he could see Daryl. He hoped the older boy hadn’t moved away, and that if they  _< i>did<i>_ meet, that Rick didn’t make a fool of himself. What should he say? He felt like an idiot for not insisting that Daryl at least gave him a phone number or address, but the other hadn’t wanted to tell him in case Merle answered the door or phone instead. He sighed sadly into his cup, he had no idea where to start. Beth clearing her throat in his ear made him jump in his seat.

 

“I was wondering if you could do something for me Rick?”

 

At Rick’s nodded she continued. “Well, yesterday I noticed that my windshield wipers aren’t working properly, and I was wondering if you could go to the mechanics and ask about it? I’m gonna be really busy today and won’t have a chance.”

 

Rick smiled across at her tiredly. He honestly didn’t have any other plans, seeing as he didn’t know how to get hold of Daryl, so he couldn’t see any problem with helping Beth out. “Yeah of course I can do that. Is it far from here?”

 

“Not really, close enough that you can just walk down if you want and take Ben with you. He’s really missed you wandering all over the place with him. The mechanic said to drop by around two if you wanted?”

 

Rick nodded and took another sip of coffee, letting the caffeine perk him up and the warmth fill his chest. He felt so relaxed he thought he could almost fall asleep at the table, and mused at how much tension had left him just from not being at home and listen to his parents fight. Rick didn’t want to think too hardly over the fact that he was probably calmer just from being in the same town as Daryl again.

 

“Rick?”

 

Beth’s hesitant question jolted Rick back out of his thoughts and he ducked his head in embarrassment. “Yeah, sorry Beth. I was kinda lost in thought there I guess.”

* * *

Rick spent the next few hours upside down on his bed reading books with Ben curled up at his side. He would liked to have thought that the dog had just missed him, but he probably just missed the belly rubs Rick endlessly gave out. After he’d eaten lunch with Beth (and Ben floating around under the table waiting for scraps), he called the dog to him and headed outside with an address to head for.

 

The deep snow on the footpath slowed him down, but he still managed to reach the building Beth had directed him to with a couple of minutes to spare, enough time to settle Ben next to it out of the still falling snow. He trusted the dog not to move, he was relatively well trained when it came down to it.

 

Rick sucked in a deep breath and immediately regretted it when the cold air nearly burnt his lungs. Once the overwhelming urge to cough passed, he opened the door and gratefully entered the slightly warmer room.  After like few second he opened the door to the office. When he walked in the room was empty, so he made his way past the desk to the garage behind it. The usual smell of gasoline and grease seemed to wrap around him while he looked around, the place seemed abandoned other than the usual assortment of cars and motorbikes.  

 

As Rick moved further into the room, he heard the rattling, banging noises that signalled somebody was in fact in the room. Rick came closer and heard some noises, somebody was in there. There was an old Lincoln parked off to the side, with an overhead light switched on above it. Rick figured he mustn’t have been paying attention to have missed it in the first place, and if he’d kept walking he would have tripped over the pair of legs sticking out from under the bonnet. He pulled off his beanie and cleared his throat.

 

"Uh, sorry?"

 

There was no response, so Rick tried again but a little louder. He got the same result, so the next time he knelt down and shook the person’s leg gently as well, finally getting an answer.

 

"Just a sec, what's the problem?" The mechanic’s voice was gravel rough, and it sparked a memory in Rick somewhere.

 

“Um, just needed help with my windscreen wipers. They aren’t working.”

 

“Oh, that should be easy.” The man finally slid himself out on the creeper to stand in front of Rick. The navy of his boilersuit was almost completely hidden by grease and oil, spreading over his hands and up to his face, but Rick could still make out the dark blonde hair and the mole above his lips.

 

Holy fuck. It was Daryl. Rick’s mind went blank.

 

He tuned back in as Daryl started to speak. “So, can ya tell me what car ya have and when they stopped workin’?”

 

Rick knees shook and he was pretty sure his hands were too, but everything was kind of ... Numb. He’d found Daryl without even trying, but now what was he supposed to do? And Daryl didn’t seem to recognize him, maybe it didn’t mean as much to the older boy as it had to Rick. He could damn near  _feel_  his heart breaking at the thought that the months of heartache and dreaming of seeing Daryl again were for nothing, that his feelings were unrequited.

 

“Hey, ya alright? Sometimes the smell of the gas gets ta people, ya know?”  

 

Rick shook his head quietly, since he’d met Daryl the smell of gasoline had definitely gotten to him but only because it reminded him of the blonde boy. He didn’t trust himself to speak so he bit at his bottom lip and looked anywhere but at  _him_. H knew he’d have to speak eventually or he was going to scare the hell out of Daryl, but when he tried he couldn’t get a full word out.

 

“Da...” Christ, Rick felt like an idiot.

 

“Wha’ was that man?” The older boy cocked his head as he leaned in closer to try and hear Rick make a fool of himself.

 

“Daryl?” Rick whispered as his cheeks turned red. Surely he could have done that better, at least spoken up louder. Daryl took a step back and stared at him, eyes puzzled. Rick took off his glasses and uncovered his mouth, hoping the other would understand him better. “Um, hi. Nice to see ya again.”

 

Daryl blinked down at him, looking both awed and completely confused. Like he thought Rick was a hallucination, before he gasped in a lungful of air.

 

“Rick?” His voice had deepened since they’d last seen each other and it had roughed to a sound like honey over gravel.

 

Rick smiled gently and nodded up at him, then was damn near tackled to the wall as Daryl hugged him. The arms wrapping around him felt even stronger than before, nearly squeezing the air from Rick lungs.

 

“Fuck Rick, it’s really you! Didn’t ...” Daryl sniffed quietly, and if Rick’s ear hadn’t been so close to the boy’s mouth he wouldn’t have heard it. For once he was grateful that he’d had a growth spurt to end up only an inch shorter than Daryl.

 

“Didn’t expect to see ya again ya know?" Daryl’s voice sounded more broken than before and it cracked at the end.

 

Rick tucked his face into Daryl’s neck, content to stay like that for as long as Daryl wanted. He tried to hug Daryl back, but the other pulled away, faced flushed in embarrassment.

 

“M sorry, didn’t mean ta get ya dirty. Just real glad ta see ya. What’re ya doin’ here anyway?” The words came out in a rush, like they’d poured past Daryl before he could think to pull them back.

 

Rick smiled, that was just about the longest sentence he’d ever heard from Daryl. He didn’t make to tug Daryl back to him no matter how much he wanted to, respecting the boy’s decision to pull away. “Don’t worry, I don’t care ‘bout that. Came back here for Christmas. My parents split up and I needed to get away.”

 

Daryl’s face fell. “M sorry. Wish I could do somethin’ for ya. Um ...” Daryl bit at his bottom lip and stared at the dirty floor before looking pleadingly back up at Rick. “Are ya busy now?”

 

Rick grinned, he couldn’t believe that the other looked and sounded just as happy to see him as he felt, and Daryl wanted to spend time with him!

 

"Yeah, I ain’t got anything to do.”

 

Daryl grinned down at him. “Great! Just wait here for a minute, then we can go.”

 

Rick tilted his head to the side. Where was Daryl intending to take him?

 

Daryl disappeared out the back of the workshop, then returned in a black coat and dangling a set of keys from one hand. Once they’d made their way outside Ben launched himself at Daryl, wagging his tail hard enough to nearly send himself sideways. Daryl ended up lying under Ben in the still falling snow, and Rick groaned in embarrassment. His aunt’s dog was a weirdo.

 

“Ben, quit it!”

 

Rick tried to help Daryl up, only to be thwarted by Ben’s barking and jumping around, eventually tripping Rick over too and sending him onto Daryl’s chest, knocking his glasses into the snow.

 

 

“Ben, you’re a nut. I’m sorry Daryl.” He was so close to Daryl’s face that his too-long curls were just tickling Daryl’s nose, enough to make the older boy chuckle. He stroked a hand through Rick’s hair as his expression became more serious, eyebrows furrowing. “How the hell didn’t I recognize ya?”

 

Rick blushed and pulled himself off the ground, catching Daryl’s hand to bring him up too. They fished his keys out of the snow and he locked up the garage while Rick cleaned his glasses off and put them back on. Daryl walked back to him rubbing the back of his neck and staring at the ground.

 

“Um, would ya mind if we went ta my place? It ain’t nothin’ fancy, but it’s empty at least. My asshole brother ain’t back for a few months.”

 

Rick’s heart skipped in his chest. Daryl had always made sure never to even show him where his house was before, it felt pretty damn incredible to be invited back there with him.

 

“Ya sure?”

 

Daryl nodded, giving Rick a tiny crooked smile. “Yeah of course. Wanna, um ... Wanna spend some time with ya, ya know?”

 

His blush was in full force, and Rick couldn’t help thinking how adorable the boy looked, how the pink of his face made the sapphire of his eyes stand out even more. Although given the fact that Daryl had been lying in the cold snow for a few minutes without any gloves or even a fucking hat, Rick wasn’t sure if he was flushed from embarrassment or the cold.

 

“You’re gonna catch a cold.”

 

Rick pulled off his scarf, wrapping it around Daryl’s neck instead.

 

“What’re ya doin’ Rick, ya don’t have ta do this.”

 

Rick hushed him and wrapped an arm around Daryl’s waist. “I’m more worried about you than me.”

 

Daryl went to pull back and his hands went to the scarf, going to take it off and give it back. Rick growled quietly at him and pulled his hands away, telling him to leave it on. Daryl blinked a couple of times, more confused than anything, but he did what Rick told him to do.

 

Rick kept hold of one of Daryl’s hands, concerned by just how cold it was. He smiled mischievously as they began to walk, he knew a way to keep Daryl’s hand warm. He tugged the older boy closer and slipped both of their hands into his own coat pocket, smiling up at Daryl when he frowned. He didn’t look mad, just surprised to see somebody worrying about him. Rick’s smiled widened, he was glad to be given the chance to look after Daryl instead of the boy always worrying about him instead.

 

“I ain’t lettin’ go of this til we get to your place. Gotta try and keep ya warm somehow.”

Daryl ducked his head and grumbled to himself, but Rick noticed the tiny smile spreading across his face as he squeezed Rick’s hand hard. It seemed liked the other boy was happy to have somebody worry about him too. 


	11. Sugar on his lips

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It took some time to update it, sorry! Hope you will enjoy this chapter! Special thanks to [Redneckwoman](http://archiveofourown.org/users/Redneckwoman/pseuds/Redneckwoman) for editing it. ❤

Rick only let go when they got to Daryl’s place, hand feeling empty and cold without the older boy’s in his. He would have liked nothing more than to keep holding it, but he wasn’t sure just how comfortable Daryl was with the idea yet, even though he’d accepted it easily to get here. He surreptitiously looked around the outside of Daryl’s house while the other unlocked the door to let them in, noticing that it was a tiny house with barely any yard, but Daryl had done pretty good at keeping it clean, with only a few pieces of machinery scattering across the long grass of the yard. Rick smiled softly to the blonde when his cheeks flushed in what Rick could only assume was embarrassment, wishing there was some way he could tell the other what his house and yard looked like didn’t matter a damn to Rick. As long as he was spending time with Daryl, it didn’t matter where they were or what the place looked like.

 

The inside of the house was shrouded in darkness when they got inside, and Rick followed Daryl as the other stumbled into another room and switched on a small electric lamp, revealing it to be the kitchen he was standing in. Ben barged past Rick to curl up under the small dining room table, eyes focused on Daryl’s every move. Rick smiled, glad it seemed like he wasn’t the only one looking out for Daryl.

 

He turned back to look around the adjoining living room, now illuminated by the surprisingly bright little lamp. It was a pretty sparsely decorated room, the only furniture was a couch against the wall and a small table with a TV on it near the window.

 

“Hey.” Rick blinked at the movement at his side, seeing Daryl had moved to stand beside him and was now staring concernedly at the younger boy’s snow soaked coat. “Ya should take that off, or yer gonna get sick.”

 

Rick looked down his front, only just registering that it had gotten heavy and cold from the falling snow on the walk to Daryl’s. “Yeah, you’re right.”  

 

Daryl gave him a tiny, shy smile and handed over a steaming mug, swapping it for Rick’s wet coat. “Hope ya don’t mind black coffee with a shitload’a sugar. Should warm ya up though.”

 

Rick’s fingers were nearly burning from the heat of the ceramic mug, but he didn’t think to cool it down before taking a sip. His lips and tongue burnt, and he yelped quietly. “Ah damn that’s hot!”

 

He was too busy grumbling to himself quietly and blowing on his lips to notice Daryl moving closer, and before he knew it Daryl’s cool fingers were resting over his lips. When Rick met his eyes he saw the concern and guilt in Daryl’s ocean blues, mixed with a tiny amount of awe.

 

“S’at better?”

 

Rick nodded gently, not wanting to dislodge the cool, scarred fingers just yet. He knew Daryl was just trying to ease the burning, but to Rick it was nearly as good as kissing Daryl again.

 

Daryl's fingers slipped away slowly, but his gaze moved to Rick’s lips for a moment and the heat from his eyes was enough to start warming them again. He stared at Rick’s lips for a moment as though they were beautiful, something to be admired. Rick opened his mouth and chewed his bottom lip for a moment, regretting it when he startled Daryl out of his reverie. The older boy shook his still wet blonde hair and ran a hand through it before grabbing his own mug. He gulped it down and Rick swore Daryl had to have a mouth like asbestos to glug it down that quickly.

 

He finished drinking and looked back up at Rick, who blushed when he realized he’d been caught staring. Daryl gave him a tiny smile and tried to hide his rose pink cheeks behind his hair, but Rick still could easily see them. “Sorry, are ya hungry or anythin’? I haven’t eaten since this mornin’.”  

 

Rick figured his cheeks probably looked the same, and he wished he didn’t have a permanent blush whenever he was around Daryl. “I’m okay, I only ate a little bit before I saw you.”  

 

Daryl nodded, ducking his head to study Rick for a moment before turning back and throwing together a sandwich for himself. The younger boy was quite happy to stand at the doorway watching him, eyes lingering over broad shoulders and slim hips that hadn’t seemed to be nearly as obvious the last time they’d seen each other. He was startled out of his new favourite hobby of drinking Daryl in with his eyes when the other spoke quietly. “Ya can take yer shoes off if ya want and leave ‘em there.” He tipped his head to the corner where he’d left his own. “They should dry out alright. And I can give ya a shirt too, if ya want?” Daryl turned his head back to watch Rick shyly out of the corner of his eye.

 

Rick smiled reassuringly, even when he wasn’t entirely sure why Daryl needed to be reassured. “Yeah, I’d like that.”

 

* * *

 

Rick followed Daryl down the darkened hallway, nearly tripping over something hidden in the blackness near the floor. He had to grab at the back of Daryl’s shoulder to stop himself hitting the ground, wincing inwardly at the tiny flinch from the other.

 

“I’m sorry.” He murmured quietly, embarrassed, but his friend only sighed. “Ain’t yer fault. I really need ta do somethin’ about a light here.”

 

Rick’s stumbled blindly down the hallway until they reached the end and turned left into Daryl’s bedroom. The room was pitch black, a curtain blocking out any light and Rick had no choice but to rest his hand gently on Daryl’s shoulder and let the other steer him to the edge of the bed so he could sit and Daryl could light a candle he had sitting on his bedside table. Rick sat still, watching Daryl move silently through the shadows as he lit the other candles he had scattered around the room before joining Rick on the bed. “Sorry fer the mess.”

 

Rick’s mouth opened in awe when he could finally see the entirety of the room. His eyes couldn’t stop moving, flitting from one place to the other. The walls were a deep purple, but they were barely able to be seen for all the charcoal drawings spread over them. Rick stayed quiet, his eyes were running all around the place. From what Rick could see they were mostly of birds and wolves, and the younger boy was truly amazed. He’d never known Daryl could draw so incredibly well!

 

Rick’s eyes were drawn magnetically to another drawing, this one on the wall closest to Daryl’s bed. It was drawn in a different medium, maybe chalk? He scooted a bit closer to see it in better detail, too engrossed in the drawing to notice Daryl ducking his head in embarrassment. Rick’s brows furrowed as he tried to figure out what it was, it seemed to be a big tree like the oak they had met at so many times, with a dark haired person sitting under it. Bright, large wings wrapped around the person, and Rick had to stop his fingers from touching the drawing. He tilted his head in confusion, trying to figure out if it was supposed to be him. He turned back to Daryl, eyes wide in puzzlement. The older boy just licked his lips and ducked his head. Rick understood easily even with just that small movement. He knew it was supposed to be him, he wasn’t sure why he had wings but he hoped one day he’d find out.

 

Rick leant back against the headboard of the bed, so close to Daryl any yet so far. Even if part of him wished he could sit closer to the other boy, he still felt more relaxed than he had in months. He drew in a deep breath, relishing the quiet and how his chest seemed to expand more than he’d been able to do since he’d come home from Beth’s the last time, since his parents had split up.

 

Daryl shifted awkwardly beside him, arms wrapped around himself. “It’s fuckin’ freezing in here, I’ll get ya a blanket.” Rick started to protest but before he could stop him, Daryl had launched himself off the bed to scrounge in the cupboard, pulling out a thick rug. He sat back down next to Rick, throwing it over his legs before gesturing to his glasses. “When did ya start wearin’ them?” Daryl coughed quietly and flushed pink before continuing. “I mean, did ya have them when we met?”

 

Rick smiled, lips tweaking upwards slightly before he answered Daryl. “Nah, I only got them a couple months ago. I couldn’t see a damn thing!” He chuckled to himself, thinking about how he’d walked into the glass sliding door at his parent’s house a couple of time before they’d figured out something was wrong.

 

Daryl’s brows crinkled together. “Is it that bad?” At Rick’s nod he leant forward a little. “Ain’t never worn glasses before, can I try them?”

 

Rick happily handed over the glasses, wishing he could see the boy beside him clearly while he was wearing them.

 

He sniggered at the way Daryl almost jumped backwards with his first look around the room. “Holy shit! That looks fucked up, like I been drinkin’ Merle’s whiskey!” Daryl clearly wasn’t enamoured with the new appearance of his room by the way he tugged the glasses off his nose. Rick attempted to grab them back, without success as Daryl held them above his head. This close up, Rick could see the cheeky grin spreading across the other’s face, wide enough to show his canine teeth. “C’mon Daryl, give them back.”

 

“No way!” Rick could tell he was only joking around, but it still annoyed him no end. Although he did like this playful side of his friend, it wasn’t something that came out very often. He tried again but all it did was show him just how much stronger Daryl was than him, reminding him of the evening they’d been messing around in the old car and Daryl had overpowered him so easily.

 

 “You can  _not_  be serious.”

 

The other boy grinned down at him, only spreading wider when Rick frowned, starting to get a little pissed off.

 

“That ain’t workin’.” Daryl’s quiet chuckles were rather adorable, but Rick was starting to get a headache from squinting and he was running out of ideas on how to get his glasses back before he was unable to cope with even the brightness of the candles. An idea came to him, and he had to hide his own grin. He slumped his shoulders and sobbed quietly. “Daryl,  _please.”_

 

Rck watched as Daryl’s blurry face dropped. He knew pretending to be so upset would tug at Daryl’s heartstrings, and it hurt him a little, but he did need to see properly. Daryl moved forward in a rush, arms wrapping tight around Rick to pull him into a close hug. “M sorry.” Daryl’s voice was soft, his guilt and anxiety coming through strong.

 

Rick smirked in his position against Daryl’s neck, before whispering, “I won.”

 

Daryl pulled back, his face red with embarrassment from being tricked so easily. “Ya clever little shit! No cheatin’!”

 

The younger boy giggled and put his glasses back on. “Too late.” He cocked his head when he noticed a guitar propped against the wall on Daryl’s side of the bed. “Yours?”

 

Daryl sighed, "Fuck, uh, I mean, yeah, but I-" 

 

“Do ya wanna play me something?”

 

Daryl seemed lost, struggling to find the right thing to say. Rick’s quiet, “Please?” seemed to work, as Daryl grimaced but picked the guitar up anyway.

 

“Alright, alright, I ain’t singin’!”

 

Rick let his grin spread across his face. “So you can sing too? Christ, drawing, playing guitar, singing – ain’t you too talented to be real?”

 

“Hey, ya forgot that I make the best coffee too!” Daryl gave an uneasy, tight smile before dropping his head back against the headboard. “I’m gonna regret this.”

 

Rick moved so he was more comfortable, still close to Daryl but not so close that he impinged on the other’s movement, and tugged a pillow close so that he could hug it gently. Rick closed his eyes as Daryl began to strum, and as he began to sing Rick could hardly believe that Daryl was so damn good at singing. His usually soft, gravelly voice was quiet, and Rick dared to say, loving, as he sang what sounded a lot like a lullaby. Any tension Rick had left in his body drifted away easily as he moved a bit closer to rest against Daryl’s shoulder. He hadn’t realised just how much he missed having a peaceful evening, with no sound of his parents either screaming at each other, or even worse, trying to  _hide_  that they were screaming at each other.

 

Maybe Rick was just dreaming, maybe he had just thought of Daryl too much before he fell asleep at his parent’s home. He hoped not, because this was all feeling too perfect. The sound of the guitar was getting quieter, Daryl’s voice dropping with it, and before Rick knew it he had drifted off to sleep, slumped downed beside the boy he missed so very much for so long.

 

* * *

 

Daryl kept mindlessly singing a lullaby he remembered from God only knew where, just knowing that it had always stuck with him as one of his favourites. He realised there hadn’t been a sound from Rick in ages, not even a sigh. He looked down and saw the sweet boy passed out in what had to be an uncomfortable position propped against Daryl’s shoulder, arms wrapped loosely around a pillow. Daryl smiled, wishing he could sit like that all night or even lie down and wrap his arms around Rick, but knowing he couldn’t do it. For one, he’d never be able to sleep, he’d spend the whole time just staring at Rick. Besides, he didn’t know if that was something Rick would want, if he felt that strongly about Daryl.

 

Daryl sighed quietly as he opened the curtain a little and slid to the floor to stare up at it. It was a nice feeling, to have someone so close, someone he knew would have his back. With Merle, he always knew his brother would be there to defend him if he needed it, but he never felt as at ease, as relaxed as he did around Rick. Hell, Merle wasn’t there for Daryl at all half the time, he usually left his little brother home alone for months at a time. He only came back when he was out of jail, and even then it only happened when he was hungry or broke and usually both. Daryl smiled thinking about his brother, sure he fought with the asshole a lot, but it was never too bad, especially not compared to their father. Fuck how Daryl hated their old man, and he knew Merle did too. Even if Merle wasn’t brother of the year, at least he knew he’d always be there if Daryl really needed him. But sometimes, Daryl wanted more, wanted someone there even when he didn’t need them, just when he wanted company.

 

That nearly made him start thinking about the past again, about his harsh childhood, and he was beginning to get drawn down into the bad memories, the ones he tried to forget. Rick’s soft, calm breathing brought Daryl back to where he was, back to the safe refuge that was his bedroom. Rick didn’t know how lucky he was to be let in Daryl’s room, he didn’t even let his own brother into his room anymore.

 

Daryl smiled fondly up at Rick’s face, loving how peaceful he looked when he was asleep. It wasn’t something Daryl ever wanted to forget, just how beautiful Rick looked at that moment. Daryl couldn’t exactly put a finger on his sexuality yet, he knew he wasn’t real keen on any of the girls he’d met so far. They annoyed the hell out of him and usually intimidated him no end. But he also didn’t feel the need to go kissing other guys ... Just Rick. Daryl frowned sadly, not sure if he should be the one to bring up his impulsive kiss on the train platform the previous summer. Rick had seemed so damn happy to see him at the garage, when Daryl had geared himself up for months to never see the younger boy again or if he did, to get a swift punch to the face for his stupidity the year before. Instead, Rick had looked like he’d missed Daryl too. Now he didn’t feel so guilty about the kiss, just a little regretful that he hadn’t done it a bit earlier so they could have figured it out together. He just hadn’t wanted Rick to hate him.

 

 The first month after Rick had gone back home had been misery for Daryl. He remembered being barely able to sleep or eat, and not being able to focus on a damn thing. Merle’s constant mocking didn’t help matters, Daryl didn’t know whether the asshole had actually figured out that Daryl was interested in another guy, or if he was just guessing and trying to push Daryl’s buttons. He’d eventually shut up and left Daryl alone about it, and Daryl tried his best to move on, push the incident out of his mind no matter how difficult it was.

 

 

Now here he was, sitting basically beside Rick, something he’d given up on even dreaming about. But how long did he get to keep Rick for? Daryl’s heart ached, he didn’t want to give the younger boy up even though he knew he would have to once again.

 

He didn’t want Rick to leave the next day without getting at least one more kiss from those soft, sweet lips though. Daryl hesitated, not sure what he was about to do was right or if Rick would mind, but in the end he leaned up so that he and Rick were almost touching, so close Daryl could feel the other’s soft exhales against his skin.

 

“M sorry.” He whispered, barely audible in his room, and pressed his lips as gently as he could to the others. They felt like satin under Daryl’s own chapped and scarred lips, and as he pulled away and licked his own he could taste the sugar that had been in the coffee the younger boy had drank earlier.

 

Once he’d pulled back the guilt hit Daryl almost as hard as it had when he had first kissed Rick all those months ago.

 

 _What the fuck is wrong with you Dixon?_ He thought sadly to himself as he sat back on the floor.

 

* * *

 

Rick was woken up to Daryl shaking his shoulder gently. In the blurred shadows of the room, he could see the other sitting on the floor with a concerned look on his face. Rick scrounged around for his glasses, figuring the other had taken them off him while he slept. He found them on the bedside table and forced himself to sit up, looking down at the boy on the floor now that he could see him clearly.

 

“What’s wrong?”

 

Daryl gestured at the pocket of Rick’s jeans. “Yer phone’s been ringin’ for the last ten minutes. Figured ya oughta answer it.”

 

“Ah shit.” Rick struggled to pull his phone out of the deepest depths of his pocket while it buzzed merrily at him. As he opened it he saw a glimpse of the time, nine pm. He pressed the ‘answer’ button, grimacing when he figured out it was Beth. He was a jackass for not ringing her hours ago, when he’d decided to go to Daryl’s in the first place.

 

“Hey, Beth. I’m really sorry – “

_“Where on earth are you Rick Grimes? I’ve been worried sick! Is Daryl with you?”_

 

Rick put his head in his hands, expecting to be yelled at far worse but still feeling awful for worrying his aunt. “I’m sorry. I came back to Daryl’s with him from the garage and got soaked in the snow, and kinda fell asleep here.”

 

_“Well, alright. You should have rang me though! It’s too late for you to be coming home now. Can you stay at Daryl’s til the morning?”_

 

Rick looked down at Daryl, noticing the stunned look on his face but not really registering it. Knowing the other could hear Beth through the overly loud speaker on his phone, Rick tilted his head in question. When Daryl nodded in agreement, Rick relayed the message back to Beth and hung up.

 

Daryl was still staring at him in utter confusion. “How the hell’d she know you were with me?”

 

Rick tilted his head as he puzzled over the question, then burst out laughing. His sweet aunt had a very devious side it appeared.

 

Daryl looked concerned for Rick’s mental state. “What, ya crazy fucker?”

 

“She planned this!” Rick ran a hand through his unruly curls, still laughing.

 

“Whadya mean?”

 

“Beth knew you were at the garage. I thought it was odd that she was asking me to get the wipers checked out, she must have figured we’d see each other there!”

 

Daryl grinned when he figured out what Rick was saying. “Well, ain’t she clever?”

 

* * *

 

"So, seein’ as yer stayin’ here,” Daryl ducked his head, looking out of the corner of his eye at Rick’s sleepy face and smiling. “Ya wanna borrow a clean shirt or somethin’? Yours is still kinda wet.”

 

The younger boy tried to hide his head in the pillow, but Daryl still caught the soft flush spreading across his face. He smiled again, loving how when Rick’s cheeks were pink they made his ice chip eyes look even bluer. Rick looked down at his shirt, noticing the damp spots all over it. “Um, yeah if that ain’t a problem?”

 

“Course it ain’t. Sorry, it’s probably gonna be big, I only got Merle’s handmedowns.” Daryl didn’t know what it felt like to have clothes that actually fit him, he just hoped that one day he’d earn enough to both pay the bills and buy some stuff of his own that hadn’t been abused by Merle first. He hoped Rick didn’t mind, because Daryl remembered just how good he looked in his own too-big shirt when he’d turned up at Rick’s window that night.

 

He honestly hadn’t thought Rick could look any better, but when he’d turned up that morning at the garage Daryl had been blown away by how incredible Rick looked. Daryl didn’t want him to leave, ever. He was happy to spend days just talking to the younger boy, learning more about him and spending time with someone who really seemed to like spending time with him. But now he wanted to do more, have Rick awake for another kiss, one where Daryl could move it down his neck, over his cheeks, down his chest ... Fuck. Daryl felt his face burning red, and hoped Rick couldn’t see. He really needed to stop thinking like that. “Yer lookin’ good.” His gruff voice sounded odd even to him, and he prayed Rick didn’t pick it up as he stood up and grabbed a t shirt out of the pile near his bed. He really needed to start putting his clothes away.

 

Rick did hear the difference in Daryl’s voice, but he was too sleepy to say anything. He vaguely wondered why the other boy sounded so different, but Rick did love the way his voice went so gravelly and rough all of a sudden. He grabbed the Black Sabbath t shirt Daryl threw his way, and pulled it on, trying to cover himself from the other’s gaze whole his chest was bare. He still felt timid around the other, knowing Daryl looked a hell of a lot better than he did now that he was growing up. He laid down on Daryl’s bed and crawled under the covers, this time only in his boxers and Daryl’s shirt.

 

Rick felt more at peace and tired than he had in weeks, sleeping was too difficult with his parents fighting and then his Mom crying. In the soft yellow candlelight, Daryl looked even more like an angel, his dark blonde bangs framing the bright blue eyes that Rick loved looking into. He frowned as he thought about Daryl, now sitting on the edge of the bed. “Where are you gonna sleep?” He asked quietly, part of him wanting Daryl to sleep beside him.

 

“On the floor, it’s fuckin’ cold on the couch.”

 

“Ya sure?” Christ, Rick really wanted Daryl next to him, he didn’t want him sleeping on the cold floor or in the even colder living room. If Daryl slept next to him, they’d only be sleeping, so he didn’t see the problem. He just wished he wasn’t so shy, that he had the guts to say so to the other boy.

 

Daryl felt the same way, but he was terrified that it would be pushing Rick too far to expect him to sleep next to Daryl all night when they hadn’t seen each other in months. So instead of making a fool of himself and maybe upsetting or pissing off the younger boy, he just nodded. “Yeah, I’m used to it. Just go back ta sleep, Rick.”

 

The younger boy smiled shyly and closed his eyes, feeling a little disappointed but not wanting to show it.

 

Daryl scrounged through the pile of stuff beside his bed and pulled out a second blanket, pulling the spare unused pillow off the bed before blowing out the candles and getting himself somewhat comfortable on the cold timber floor. He didn’t care how cold he got though, because Rick was only inches away. Daryl closed his eyes, figuring that he’d be okay with anything as long as Rick was nearby.

 

* * *

 

 

Rick woke up to the sound of something thumping hard against the floor. He sat up with a start, at first panicked in his new surroundings but then he remembered where he was and that Daryl was in the room with him. He could still hear the strange noises so he looked down to where the older boy lay, and his heart sank at what he could see in the moonlight.

 

Daryl had curled himself into a tiny ball on the floor, the blanket he’d thrown over himself twisted around his legs while he shook fiercely, mumbling in his sleep. He had his face buried in his pillow as though he was trying to disappear into it.

 

Rick reached out one hand and hesitantly began petting the older boy’s hair, pushing it away from his face and wondering at how soft and silky it felt under his fingers. He began to whisper softly to the frightened boy, hoping he could calm him down.  “It’s alright Daryl. I’m here, I got you. It’s only a dream, it’s alright.” Daryl’s body still felt so tense under his hand, like a rubber band ready to snap. Rick didn’t know what to do, whether he should wake the terrified boy up or let him work through it by himself. With another broken whimper from Daryl, Rick knew he couldn’t leave him like that. He gently shook Daryl’s shoulder, prepared for the other’s reaction as he launched himself upwards and grabbed for Rick’s hand, wrapping his fingers around it tightly.

 

“What?!” His voice sounded harsh and afraid in the small room, his panicked eyes searching for Rick then immediately becoming filled with concern. “Rick? What’s wrong?”

 

"Think ya were having a nightmare.” Rick gave him a reassuring smile, and hoped the other boy wouldn’t be embarrassed. Daryl just sniffled quietly and rubbed his free hand across his face, not even attempting to pull his hand away from Rick’s.

 

Rick hesitantly tugged on the hand he was holding, gesturing to the empty space on the bed when Daryl looked up at him. “There’s plenty of room up here for both of us Daryl, ya should sleep in your own bed.” He tugged him up off the ground without waiting for an answer, knowing he wouldn’t be able to sleep knowing Daryl was trying to get comfortable on the floor or the couch.

 

It all happened to quickly for Daryl to register, before he knew it he was lying beside Rick, fingers still entwined. Rick leant forward to kiss the top of his forehead, their bodies touching from shoulder to hip. For once the close contact with another person didn’t scare the ever loving shit out of Daryl, he just felt ... Safe.

 

“G’night.” Rick was grateful for the darkness of the room for hiding the fire he could feel in his cheeks from being so bold. He didn’t even know if Daryl was interested in him like that, if he ever had been, but Rick couldn’t let the opportunity go, couldn’t fall asleep with Daryl so close until he’d gotten to press his lips to some part of the other boy’s face. They were so close under the covers that he could feel Daryl’s warm, if slightly too fast breaths slipping out and brushing against his cheek. Rick figured his own were probably just as quick, but it was hard to be calm when he was this close to the guy he had a crush on.

 

Rick tried to stay awake, wanting to wait until he knew Daryl was asleep so that he could use the moonlight to watch the other boy for a while. He swore this time he would get a photo of Daryl so that he didn’t just have his memories and dreams to remember him by, because they weren’t near as good as the reality.

 

When Rick had finally gotten his own breathing to nearly be believable as that of a sleeping person and had nearly drifted off to sleep again, waiting for Daryl to doze off, he was shocked awake by a set of familiar, chapped lips pressing to his forehead, mirroring what he’d done not so long before.

 

Rick felt a shiver run through his body, and he tried to contain it so he didn’t startle the other boy. He couldn’t figure out whether what had just happened was real or if he’d actually fallen asleep and was dreaming.

 

He worried at his bottom lip but other than that he didn’t move. Didn’t even dare to open his eyes, just kept breathing as normally as he could manage under the circumstances. Daryl moved higher up the bed, squiggling around in an attempt to get himself comfortable. When he was finally still, Rick took a deep breath and moved his head so that it was resting on the broad chest so close to him. The slow, strong heartbeat under his ears calmed Rick better than anything in the world ever could. He drifted off to Daryl’s heart under his ear, figuring the kiss had just been a dream.


End file.
